Casual encounters should be simple. No stress, no complications, just an agreement between two adults who know what they want. But that “easy” part often disappears as soon as someone ignores your boundaries or, worse, acts like boundaries are a nuisance.

Here’s the thing: setting boundaries is not boring or dramatic. It's smart. It's about respect. And most importantly, it is a way to prevent an optional adventure from turning into emotional chaos.

If you want to keep everything fun, clear, and without false expectations, here's how to set boundaries like a real emperor.

What Do You Want?

You can't expect someone else to respect your boundaries if you don't know them yourself. The first step is to be honest with yourself. What do you like? What makes you uncomfortable? What is your absolute “no”?

You don't have to write a manifesto. It's enough to know: do you want to stay for a drink, and then say bye? Do you like messages every day, or just arranging to see each other? It's all important. Boundaries are not rigid rules but rather ways to be more comfortable in your own skin.

Communicate Early

Here's an important thing: don't wait until something has already happened and then go, “Hey, I don't really like this.” It's harder. Impractical. And often, too late. Instead, here are a few things to consider when it comes to good communication.

Keep It Simple

There is no need for a serious candlelit conversation; treat it like a casual, natural heads-up. For example: “Just so you know, this is completely optional for me. I don't like overnight stays, and I don't expect to correspond every day.” That's it. It’s clear, simple, and lays out expectations without tension.

You know what makes this all easier? When you meet someone in a place where everyone is clear about their expectations from the start. Locanto's casual encounters section is a great place to find this. No games, no ulterior motives, just real people who know what they want and are willing to listen to what you want.

Balance Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication

You don't have to say everything with words. Your body language, tone of voice, and even facial expressions can send clear signals about what you like and what you don't.

For example, if you withdraw, avoid eye contact, or freeze, these are all signs that you may not be comfortable. And if you are nice and relaxed, it will be seen too, through a smile, a touch, or a relaxed attitude.

A study published in Culture, Health & Sexuality found that people in casual relationships often use a mix of verbal and non-verbal cues to express boundaries and consent. But it also means that messages can sometimes be misinterpreted, so open communication is key. The more clarity, the less misunderstanding.

It’s Not Just About Sex

When someone says “boundaries,” most immediately think of what happens (or doesn't happen) in bed. And yes, physical boundaries are important. But that's where the story just begins.

Boundaries in casual relationships are much more than “what” we do. There are also when, where, how often, and in what mood.

Some people like to see each other only on weekends. Some don’t like to sleep with other people, while others don’t want any contact after midnight.

Digital Borders

Maybe you don't like texts at 2 in the morning. Maybe you don't want to add them on Instagram, because you don't want someone to follow you or comment on your stories. These are all boundaries that you have the right to set.

Emotional Limits

Some people get attached more quickly than others. Where are you on that scale? There's nothing wrong with saying, “This is purely physical for me; I'm not looking for a relationship.” Just be sure to be upfront about what it is you want so the other person can adjust their expectations accordingly.

You Can Change Your Mind

Boundaries are not set in stone. We change, and circumstances change. If you like something today but don't tomorrow, that is okay. Just say it!

You don't owe an explanation. You don't have to apologize. Your limits, your rules.

If someone you’re casually seeing can’t respect your new ‘no’ or accept what you’re openly and honestly communicating, that’s on them. Not you. And if that is the case, it’s okay to reconsider if they’re the right kind of person to have in your life.

Respect Goes Both Ways

Great, now you know your limits. But it is also important to respect the boundaries of others. Everyone has their own rules, and that's totally fine.

Don't try to “convince” someone to cross their boundaries. If someone doesn't want to kiss, stay with you, or see each other more often, it’s not your place to insist or say, “Come on, just this once!” Boundaries are not challenges to be overcome. They are a sign of maturity and mutual respect.

How much boundaries can differ from person to person is confirmed by a survey from News Minimalist: 60% of people think that sending messages to ex-partners is a form of cheating, while 23% of them think the same about watching pornography. This shows that everyone has their own boundaries when it comes to what is acceptable and what is not.

That's why dialogue is crucial. Through open communication, we can understand each other and respect each other's boundaries.

Trust Yourself

Your instincts tell you more than you think. If you are in a situation that doesn’t feel right or makes you feel uneasy, that’s not paranoia. That's your brain trying to protect you.

Sometimes the sign is subtle, like a weird comment, or more obvious, like when someone ignores what you’ve just said. Maybe it’s just a feeling that won’t go away.

People are generally good at reading consent signs, but misunderstandings still happen. So, if you don't like something, listen to yourself.

You can leave. No excuses.

Optional, but Responsible

Casual relationships can be great if they're honest, clear, and mutually respectful. Setting boundaries is not selfish or excessive. They help ensure everything stays fun by keeping you and your romantic partners on the same page.

Know what you want and communicate it, listen to what the other person wants, and don't be afraid to make changes along the way. There might still be some drama or confusion along the way, because that’s just a part of life. But trust us, there will be a lot more problems if you don’t set any boundaries at all. You’ve got this.