Hey readers,

Today I was flipping through my comments and noticed an indignant reader who asked me (indignantly) to describe my perfect woman. So, before we get into all that indignant shit…I'd like to say a few things.

First, many of you know that I'm dating right now (a girl who reads my blog, no less), so I realize that it's risky to say these things; because it either seems like I'm kissing her ass or dissing her. But fuck it; nothing a little apology can't handle. heh. Plus, she should know that I see these wonderful things in her, because well, I don't just date any usual girl. Then I gotta insult her…
You're a butthead?
I don't know what's appropriate in these situations. heh.

As Goodyer would say:
Right ear: I love you, Beautiful.
Left ear: Whatever.

Also, I'm sure that if I don't keep my end of the bargain, she'll be out too. I gotta watch my p's and q's, try like hell to give her orgasms, buy her flowers, whatever good boyfriends are supposed to do (help me out reader)

I should also say that The Perfect Woman doesn't exist. And she shouldn't have to. It's unfair to think that the person you're dating is perfect. Maybe, as the old cliche goes, “perfect FOR you” but not perfect. Forgiveness and compromise are necessities! (Like how Anetta has already forgiven me for interrupting her masturbation sessions and I COMPROMISED by not calling without a little, polite series of texts asking her if she's “busy”)

If I've learned anything, idealized versions of anything don't exist; luckily, I'm a sucker for girls who confuse/surprise me and if a girl was exactly what I wanted, she wouldn't be able to do that (I'm just the kind of cad that would do that). More than that, only a man knows what the perfect woman is; only a woman knows what the perfect man is. And hell, both sexes don't really know what they want anyhow.Only trannies have some idea of what it's like to be both sexes…and I'm not that big of a fucking pervert.

I'd like to add that I just dropped a cigarette in my raspberry Kool-Aid and drank it. Fucking disgusting.

So, with all that said, these are the pre-requisites for what I look for in a gal:

Being Hot

Grace/Presence/Being Relatively Lady-like

Intelligence

Sense of Humor

And that's it.

So, it's not too damned complicated, I'd say.

But hell, I guess I'm just a simple dude.

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