In part I, I rambled aimlessly and advised against seeing getting laid as something competitive. Here are a few more tips:

Pay Attention

Really, it's not any more complicated than this. Women constantly give clues about what they want to talk about, and what they're passionate about. Pay attention. If her face lights up when you casually mention rock-climbing, follow up on that. Small talk often begins conversations, but there's no reason at all they should end there or even stay there for long.

Make Yourself Happy

Don't ever go out looking for something that you can't control. Really, when you go out, you should simply be looking to have a good time, and that should have nothing to do with getting laid. Going out with the specific intention of getting some is self-defeating. Remember the wise words of Yuda, the cheaply made Chinatown knockoff doll I gave my (then) girlfriend for Valentine's Day:

Expectations lead to disappointment. Disappointment leads to frustration. Frustration leads to anger, and anger leads to The Dick Side.

If you can't even make YOU happy, why the hell should anybody else think that you can make THEM happy?

Be Yourself, but be the You that Doesn't Suck

Clearly, if it was as simple as "be yourself", anybody could do it, unless they were schizophrenic. To my schizophrenic readers, "Mailbox purple commanda Ninja clouds." You're welcome.

To you normies, that means understanding what makes you desirable and playing up on that. Finding your "thing", so to speak. For me, it's good looks, effortless charm and a huge amount of self-delusion. For you, it could be sharp wit, excellent fashion sense, an Iphone — whatever it is that you're good at. Talent is sexy, and you want to be able to show yourself in the best light possible.

Note, of course, that this doesn't mean you should condescendingly shove your talent into any conversation. But you SHOULD consider attending events and hanging out with crowds where you'll get a chance to shine, and then being willing to engage with people about your passions.

Be on her team

This is pretty simple, but highly effective. Whether it be trivia, beer pong, or even rooting or the same sports team, having a shared goal is a highly effective way to establish a bond. Even something as simple as commiserating about a disliked professor or boss can be enough to establish an in-group mentality.

I have more tips, but I'm going to take a nap instead of posting them. Cool.

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