On the Genius of Professor Hatfield A Brief Autobiographical Fiction At Yamsleigh College in North Connecticut there resides deep in the illustrious catacombs of academia, a man named Professor Hatfield. This man is nothing special by conventional standards, but amongst the wanna-be paupers of Strunk &White, amongst the established champions of every writer from Chaucer to Cheever, he is the most esteemed man in the World. With a man quite so…strange…it’s hard to believe it, honestly. “Hello, Professor Hatfield,” lines the front glass to his office, apparently written with red Sharpie. A picture of a stoned-looking Stimpy and a cartoon strip of The Perry Bible Fellowship’s “Go eat a dick, Truancy Bot” are highlighted in red…apparently by Hatfield himself… as they are also signed. Then, there is the golden gleam of his wooden door. It is a marvelous spectacle only viewed against the shiny lacquered floor leading to his private office. The sight of such would render one almost helpless itself, really. But Professor Hatfield is the real main attraction in that office, he who makes the writing world beg on its haunches.

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