Court Sullivan | Points in Case Founder/Editor

Court Sullivan is a 2003 graduate of Emory University, where he majored in Economics and History. In between double shots of Hennessey
and single scoops of spumoni ice cream, he works in Atlanta as editor of PointsinCase.com. When not writing sentences such as this one, he enjoys such activities as zoning
out, watching obscure DVD's, and beating fish in drinking contests. Curiously, he hates both reading books AND watching TV. Court's hidden talents include juggling,
playing the piano and counting cards in blackjack.

 

Column

Points in Case

A compilation of the oddest and most intriguing aspects of college life.  Points in Case is the original college humor column that started the website in 1999.

 

Blog

Court Jesting

Comedy and behind the scenes of PointsinCase.com! Join me as I drag you willingly through pop culture, funny stories, internet talk, and irony.

 

Extended Bio

Motivations:
I am easily excited by spontaneous things, amusing people, random moments, minor
observations, and alcohol. I like to travel, write comedy, buy electronics, and explore/abuse the internet.

My Favorite Theory:
People often ask me if I would ever go skydiving. I tell them no. Then they ask
if I would go bungee jumping and I say yes. The reason?

Bungee jumping: You're alive unless something goes wrong.

Skydiving: You're dying until something goes right.

It's not the only theory I've developed, but it's probably the most concise. And with all the ADD in the world today, short, sweet and
to the point is sometimes all you can afford.

Internet Accomplishments:
3rd best IMer in America. In June 2004, Amir and I were selected as a team to compete in the Yahoo IM Live Contest (grand prize: trip to Hawaii). They even flew us to Yahoo HQ in Sunnyvale,
California for "training." For 5 nights, 3 hours each, we entertained America with our lightning wits and rock hard webcam abs. Each night one pair was eliminated. Even
though we won most rounds convincingly, we somehow missed the final round cut by a matter of like 10 votes. So I guess you could also label this experience "Biggest Defeat
Ever."

Sports:
Besides typing, I'm a fan of playing sports (hello irony!). Tennis and soccer rank highest,
and baseball and figure skating rank lowest on my list of enjoyable athletics.

Alternative Sports/Games:
Activities I have spent hours trying to perfect that will probably never
be endorsed by the Olympic committee include: wall ball, marco polo, kickball, four square, tabletop shuffleboard, hackey sack, beer pong, downhill skateboard luge, and
skim boarding in rain-flooded ditches.

Romance:
Everything you wanted to know about my first girlfriend. It's probably my favorite thing I've ever written.

Pictures


it's all you dogg


aww, don't cry, it's just quarters


gunther-ish


wild!


cinco de my ho


downtown atl


typical sat afternoon


umm, this must be a good sandwich


easy tiger (i love dorky ironic tshirts)
Articles

Cell Phones: The Gift and the Curse by
Court Sullivan

You love to hate them, but you can't live without them. It's about time someone gave some static back to the mobile industry.

The Buck Stops Here! by Court
Sullivan
A rally call to apathetic students at small, pointless schools everywhere: your
Evil Administration is trying to turn your campus into a "non-campus campus"!

Briana Banks: The Pornstar IM Interview
by Court Sullivan
A breakthrough
screenname discovery finally pays off when Briana Banks signs on. Get the dirty, inside scoop on this A-list pornstar.

My Dog Demands Pear Mango Passion!
by Court Sullivan
The Alberto V05 shampoo-makers get a prank call about
their animal testing policy.  All the dog wants is some fruity conditioner and a good pampering!

If Interns Had Interns by Court
Sullivan
Welcome to the world of "sub-interns," where you will never again lift a finger as
an intern. Not even to kill pop-ups.

Top 10 Ways to Trick Yourself into Feeling Like You're Making Progress
on an 8-Page Paper by Court Sullivan
Does this need
any more description?

"Ticket-Fighter" Parking Hangtags by Court Sullivan
Make extra cash at college selling fake parking hangtags. Everyone
loves the sketchy campus dealer!

College Student Regrets Divulging Computer Password to New Girlfriend
by Court Sullivan

Another Onion-esque news article. Remember kids: trusting others with your alpha-numerics means putting your online life in jeopardy.

Non-Reader's Guide to Reading for Pleasure by Court
Sullivan

You hate it. I hate it. The American people hate it. There is nothing we hate more than reading for pleasure. Now read this article and like it.

Complete Guide to Trendy IM Laughing by Court
Sullivan

A completely revolutionary way to laugh online using physical hand spasms to represent your laughter. LOL is dead, dudes.

Think You Know 7-Eleven?  Think Again. by Court Sullivan

A career opportunity announcement from 7-Eleven. New combat training and intensive care units make 7-Eleven the perfect career move.

Credit Cards Gone Wild! by Court
Sullivan

First they were plastic.  Then they were gold, silver, and platinum.  What element will gain financial stardom from VISA and the scientists next?

Investor Confidence Weakened by Atmospheric Pressure
by Court Sullivan

A satirical news article about the new factors affecting Wall Street. This one has meteorologists everywhere stumped.

Soft Drinks: Oversized and Out of Control! by Court
Sullivan

How do you stop the extra-large, soft-drink phenomenon in America?  Maybe we can use it to our advantage...

On Top of the Clothesline and Crawling by Court
Sullivan

How do you get rid of ants in your pants fifteen minutes before work starts? You snipe-pinch them of course!

Macy's "World's Largest Bombing Display" by
Court Sullivan

Macy's takes on the NYPD in front of cheering thousands in this spectacularly dangerous annual tradition.

Parody Resume by Court
Sullivan
What if you could tell the whole truth on your resume? It would probably look a
lot like this one. Good luck getting hired!

How to Email Your Professor by
Court Sullivan

An inside look at what professors are really thinking when they read your dumbass emails. (Written by one of my professors, not me.)

How to Deal with Finals & Papers by
Court Sullivan

Feeling a little stressed out? Get the ultimate cynical perspective here and things won't seem nearly as bad.

Top 10 Dorm Room Mixed Drink Stirrers
by Court Sullivan

Count 'em down...from "highly unlikely" to "quite plausible" to "downright disgusting." You know you've used them all before.

Cuban Missile Explodes:  Kills All 72
Aboard by Court Sullivan

An Onion-esque news article. Trying to flee from Cuba to Florida is a no-brainer, but why didn't they wear their seatbelts?! 



Do You Like to GET WASTED?
by Court Sullivan

An actual flyer I distributed around  Emory's campus! It's about time to bring college students together in the name of drinking.

Bigger is Better: Drinking or Driving by Court
Sullivan

Be a man about it, seriously.

College Quarter-Shortage Theory by Court Sullivan

Ever wonder why college kids are always desperate for quarters? Well, the quarter itself has a history of elusion.

I am the D.U.C. by Court
Sullivan

A first-person narrative in which I become the mind of our school's cafeteria (aka "the D.U.C").

Mystery of the Campus Shuttle by Court
Sullivan
A compelling transportation drama. "Unit 3, we have an unmarked
shuttle headed for the abandoned warehouse. Unit 3, I repeat...... Unit 3?"

Stop Sneezing! by Court Sullivan
A satirical news/research article. You think
cell phones are the cause of most traffic accidents? You must not know about the "quadruple-sneeze."

How Rome Fell...Into My Hands
by Court Sullivan
Court's real college admission
essay. Caution: "after-school special corniness" comes in large doses.