David Ayala


Art Institutes

Class of



Detroit, MI

At a Glance

David Ayala is a young wannabe juvenile delinquent first and a comedian second. Although the places where he can express his humor are non-existent, he still tries to put his art out there for the world to see... and by "world" we mean trash can.


I try to be funny so I'll just apologize in advance. You can pretend that we're besties on twitter @DavidAyalasOk or send me a message at David.Ayala@yahoo.com

Comedy Articles

An Open Letter from Bill Cosby's Sweater
I’m here because I also have a relationship with the public, outside of Bill Cosby the human, and I have to ask you all one question: We're still cool, right?
Dec 26, 2014

The 18-Year-Old Virgin
It's not that I DON'T want to have sex, and it's not that I DO want to have sex, it's that I simply don't give a fuck about getting fucked. And yet I feel like I should.
May 29, 2014

Dear Craigslist, I'm the Missed Connection
While browsing the craigslist "Missed Connections" section, I realized that I am the person pretty much all these people are missing so hard it makes Viagra jealous.
Feb 18, 2014

So You're About to See Someone Get Stabbed
In the unlikely but entirely plausible event that you’re about to witness a possible murder go down like Chinatown, here are three important things to remember.
Jan 8, 2014

The 5 Stages of Going Home for Thanksgiving
If you're in the same sinking ship I like to call the "S.S. Thanksgiving Return," then here are the five stages you'll probably endure on your way to the gravy boat.
Nov 26, 2013

A Winner's Guide to Acknowledging Losers
Sure you might be think that like DJ Khaled, all you do is win, win, win no matter what, but you have you ever considered the butterfly effect of all your victories?
Oct 9, 2013

45 Everyday Math Equations for the Non-Math Major
Fortunately, there are some equations out there that don't conjure up bad memories of wetting yourself during a math test, and I've got them here!
Mar 25, 2013

The Consequences of Being Single in February
February makes us remember the range of cruelty and suffering that the world (and especially Americans) put a certain minority through. Cheer up, single people.
Feb 23, 2013

Turning 18 for Dummies
Let’s get something straight: getting old is awful. Just ask the countless women using skin care products or men harvesting the souls of children so that they can live forever.
Dec 29, 2012

How to Know If Danger is Near
Be on the lookout for these five indicators of danger and you'll soon be sweating ancient Chinese wisdom and fortune... or at the very least have a less painful life.
Sep 15, 2012

Running to Look Good, and for All the Wrong Reasons
In order to please the general public and fulfill my subconscious desire to become a a hard ass gym coach for overweight children, I've decided to go running every once in a while.
Aug 16, 2012

My Living Will: A Testament to My Lack of Stuff
In order to deal with an impending death in a productive way, we write wills. It's one thing we do to feel better about taking an eventual dirt nap, besides smoking cigarettes.
Jul 16, 2012

Six Things You'll Do on December 22, 2012
A lot of people believe that the world will end on December 21, 2012. But let's fast forward to the morning of December 22, 2012, or as I like to call it, National "OH SHIT" Day.
Jun 21, 2012

The 4 Signs of the Rapeocalypse are Cray Cray, You Guys
I know the omens signifying the end of the world, and because I wasn't born a dick (but simply grew into one), I'll share these signs with you. Lookout Oprah and Guido Jesus.
Jun 5, 2012

17 Famous People's To-Do Lists
People try their best to organize their lives every day, EVEN FAMOUS PEOPLE. And since I'm the creepo who spent hours tracking down all their to-do lists, check out what I found!
Apr 12, 2012

Smoking Doobies with My Doggy
I've finally made a decision: the first drug I'm going to try is weed, and my first partner in crime is going to be my dog, because the conversation is going to be amazing.
Mar 21, 2012

The 100% FREE Way to Find Out If You're Living in Poverty
A great man once said, "A man is only as poor as his character." And when I say that was a great man, I'm lying. When it comes to personal finances, inspirational quotes are only worth 98 cents.
Dec 5, 2011