Overcooked Comedy

Send To Recycle Bin In The Sky

It's highly possible that in this technological age of ours, a lot of people are starting to type up their suicide notes instead of the old-fashioned, BORING, pen and paper. But I wonder: do these people correct spelling errors? Do they take tips from the paper clip guy? Do they save the note when they're done? And when printing off, how pissed would you be if you were out of paper or ink? That would make a guy want to kill himself.

If FDR Was Paranoid

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Oh, and our evil space alien twins beaming information to and recieving information from interstellar satellites implanted in children's heads."

And why shouldn't we be afraid of polio? He knew first hand how bad it was.

Martin Luther King, Jr. Junior

I had a dream a couple of nights ago where a black person robbed me after I got my change at McDonald's. When I woke up, I thought it would be funny if I became racist because a person in my dream who did something bad to me happened to be black. I was just thinking that would be funny because of the pure ridiculousness...but then I realized I would be racist because I had a dream. Like I Have A Dream. Like I'm a modern day Martin Luther King, Jr., but instead of my dreams making me have hope for racial equality, they make me racist.

Things Women Can Do To Prove They Are Equal To Men

It's 2008. Time we realize that we are all the same, regardless of social glass, gender, race, or gayness. It's time women were treated as equals to men and recieve equal income and opportunity. Here are a few suggestions for how women can claim their equal footing in society alongside men.

• Do the dishes. They're pilin' up pretty high.
• Take care of the laundry.
• Vaccuum the carpet and sweep the floors.
• Stop having periods. You earn three-quarters of every dollar a man makes because three-quarters of the month, you're not on your period.

Bottle Fed

I wonder if there are any five-year-old drug addicts or alcoholics.

This Just In: Barack Is Black

Barack Obama came to my hometown a couple of weeks ago and a few of my friends saw him speak at the university. I texted my friend "Was obama black in real life," and she confirmed that he is in fact actually black. You just never know. TV adds a few pounds and sometimes a skin color.

I think Obama's main platform issue should be eliminating slavery. Nobody would argue against that.

Kick Him Back

If you were going out with an abortion doctor or an aspiring abortion doctor (currently in abortion college), do you think he would get you pregnant and then perform abortions on you for practice?

Outside The Lines

I bet John Hancock hated college-ruled paper.

The Democrats Can Use This Argument If Desperate

John McCain was in prison once. Yes, he was a prisoner of war while he was serving our country - but still, do you want a criminal running our country?

Labels: racism sexism jism

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