Fresh-Squeezed Comedy

Since I've gotten such a warm, loving reception for my blog so far, with many words of encouragement, I've decided to post again.

That last sentence was sarcasm.
I'll never use sarcasm again.

Anyways, here are some random comedy tidbits and jokes, freshly squeezed. Bon appetit.




A man runs into a girl he knew in high school.

Male: "Hey, Jennifer! Jennifer!"

Female: "Oh...hey, uh, John?"

Male: "Yep!"

Female: "Hi, I haven't seen you since..."

Male: "Since Prom! Yep! Anyways, what have you been up to?"

Female: "Oh, you know, workin' alot, really busy."

Male: "Yeah, work's cool, work is good...to have."

Female: "Yep. Where do you work these days?"

Male: "You know, the ol'...unemploy...ment...office..."

Female: "Oh, wow, that's great! You're actually doing something for the community and economy!

Male: "No...I meant...I meant I'm unemployed, I was just trying to say it silly."

Female: "Oh." (walks away)




Newspaper Article Title: Britney Spears Runs Over Her Children Sean Preston and Jayden James, But Will Do Something Crazier Tomorrow Or The Next Day

Entertainment Tonight: "Regis Philbin went on a vodka and cocaine binge this weekend, having sex with 'up to and including 13 young girls.' This is his third weekend alcohol-coke binge in a row. He was quoted as saying 'Hoo-Hah!'"




"Grey's Anatomy is playing in my pants. You can come over and watch it if you want."




"Jesus turned water into wine. Yeah, well, Chuck Norris turned water into beer and beer-bonged that shit."

"Jesus died for our sins. Chuck Norris survived."

NOTE: I do not support Chuck Norris jokes in any way, shape, or form.

Labels: tidbits

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