College Quotes
"Dating is the most useless and rotten attempt by completely worthless individuals to establish a faulty image for somebody they wish to impress in a desperate, neurotic need for attention. Unfortunately, these phony people actually impress each other and end up producing ugly, noisy, gargoyle-like children. The genetic deformities inherent in the hideous smiles of their children only indicate the fact that they, like their parents, have NO FUTURES."
-Wesley, on the usefulness of dating
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About NG Hatfield
Hometown
Happenstance, PA
School
Allegheny College
At a Glance
My sense of humor can be summarized with one joke:
Q: Why does 6 hate 7?
A: Because 7 8 out 9.
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Free the White Man?
I don't care if you think this is racist. I'm not a racist.
It's been my experience with the ever-progressing PC nature of our culture today, that Caucasian males are the most popular-culturally suppressed.
Think about it.
White men get made fun of all the time...stereotypes like...
We can't dance
We speak like news anchors
We have low personal hygiene standards, etc. etc. etc.
But do we challenge it? No, generally not. White guys laugh at jokes about White Guys. Isn't that somewhat strange? I mean, if a guy calls me a honky or a cracker, the last thing I consider is "YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, YOU'RE TRYING TO INSULT ME! OMG I'M GOING TO SUE YOU!"
I realized this today when I saw that Red Stripe commercial that goes "Red Stripe and Reggae - helping our white friends dance for over 70 years."
I got to thinking that, what if...let's just say...a white guy was saying things, and he said somehing like these examples:
"Red Stripe - helping our black friends fuck white chicks for over 70 years."or
"Red Stripe - helping our Asian friends seem more personable for over 70 years."or
"Red Stripe - helping our Female friends spread their legs for over 70 years."
It's true! Beer helps everybody get laid...beer makes everybody more personable...
Granted, even the white stereotype is correct...beer DOES make everybody slightly more rhythmic...but why does that joke seem much less threatening than the 'jokes'I've provided here?
Well, I'm not really sure...I think it's simply the fact that that's how we're conditioned or perhaps that most of society believes that growing up White and Male makes life somewhat easier. It doesn't, obviously, life sucks for everybody...it's just societal perception...
Strange, though.
Either way, I realize this is a SUPPOSEDLY a comedy blog and shit..but I pride myself on having some of the smartest readers on the net; so, I'd like to get other's opinions on this subject.
If you're a minority, that'd be helpful too.
Thanks y'all.
-Gaudio, out.
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I'm not a minority, but I am one of the smartest readers on the net, so I'll chime in.
I agree with you on this one. It's assumed that for a stereotype to be even possible, the group in question must first and foremost be not white, or at least not a man. For white males, there are no stereotypes, just funny things [we can't jump! we're non-confrontational!] that everyone can have a good chuckle at. Thats fine, most of these things can be made funny when put in a certain light.
But if one were to make a joke about another culture, we've entered territory that is reserved for the one white guy that's always on Comic View.
Strange, indeed, Nick.
I will take it even further. The only safe stereotype today that ANYONE can make fun of, and not be considered a racist, homophobic, anti-whatthefuckever is the straight white southern male. I will give you an example. Whenever anyone on TV or stage wants to sound dumb or intimate stupidity what do they do? They jump, with two feet no less, into a contrived southern accent.
Try and do that with a ghetto accent? Ebonics if you will
Or a stupid Asian accent or latin?
You will get your nuts chopped off by the PC police.
Christ when did Americans become a bunch of liberal pansies who can't take a joke?
I absolutely hate it.
-Kev
Thanks Dude, I expected no less than that from you.
Kev,
I didn't even consider that it was narrowed down even farther to the Southern male. I agree with you on that, but to say that it's liberal pansies that can't take a joke...well that's where I'll draw the line. I mean, I'm a huge fucking liberal...but I'm on the end of the spectrum that touts "FREEDOM OF SPEECH" above all other rights in this country. And sure, the government can't exactly arrest me for saying "shit" or whatever (at least, they can't YET), but society can sure do a number on me. So yeah...I'd say...fuck the pussies, but don't make it limited to liberals.
Though really, thanks for the reply man. I completely understand, after you know...growin up in West Virginia my whole life.
-Gaudio
This is why I have no problem busting on niggers and spics and chinks and Kikes.
Whoa! What happened? I blacked out.
When I was in Europe, I had the following conversation with a German citizen named Brauni:
Me: Why are you guys so sensitive about Hitler? I mean, in America, we killed tons of asians and wiped out almost every Native American tribe. I mean, why not just forget about it and move on like we did?
Brauni: We cannot do that. Because, unlike us, you won.
Losers get sore. They don't like hearing about it. Trust me, I'm a Bucs fan.
Its because the things that people make fun of - the "stereotypes" for white people- arent that offensive.
Can't dance? Dorky? Dare i say UN-HIPPPPP?
Ouch.
But then other stereotypes are harmful.. like black people dont like to work, do a lot of drugs, and eat a lot of fried chicken.
I can hear it now... "Bitch please, my brotha RayRay DuWontell gots him a job and he dont smoke no rock! And the reason my race has higher average LDL cholesterol levels and heart disease is GENETIC NIGGA! Leave my mufuckin chicken out of it! I'm black! Oooga Booga!"
Who's offended? Pretty much everybody should be right?
Who's feelings are really hurt when other people say white people talk funny and are less rythmic!?!
Plus, white folks have opressed pretty much every race and creed in a significant enough way to make everyone want to tread lightly - people will assume you actually harbor hate or something.
Im just full of LOVE.
Couple things Gaudy-O:
As white males are(admittedly less and less so) the default,the stereotypes concerning them have less of a cultural significance. No white man was ever rejected from a job because his employer suspected him unreasonably of poor dancing ability. While this may have social ramifications, these are undoubtedly less institutionalized and more subject to personal change.
And there are things that one can point to in other cultures as stereotypically funny, they just need to be either trivial or cleverly non-controversial, e.g., the tendancy for women to enjoy chocolate, or the fact that sometimes hunger resurfaces soon after eating certain types of Chinese food. What a lark.
Peace out, Nick-le Bag
X, i have to point out that no one ever rejected a black man for a job due to a suspicion that he likes watermelon, has a big penis, and fucks white women. No one ever rejected an asian for a job because they suspected said asian of having a small penis and being way too into math, etc.
The thing that causes actual job descrimination (as well as descrimination in other important things) is more of a general thought that people of other races are actually inferior. This is stupid and should be stopped, but it has nothing to do with specific little racial stereotypes.
The idea is that saying white men are inbred hicks is just as bad as saying all black men are man-sluts for white women, and we should either learn to deal with all stereotyping like this or none of it.
Also, i thought kykes was spelled with a 'y,' like dykes. but i could be wrong.
Ford et al.
Black men go for white women because they are easier. Black girls just don't fuck all the time like crackas do.
With all due respect, Fordypants, I am forced to respectfully disagree. While the overt reasoning behind the non-hiring might have little to do with the penis or the white woman fucking, the idea that blacks are little more than well-proportioned beasts of burden who want little more than to corrupt innocent white girls is an institutionalized schema. Have you seen Birth of a Nation? That kind of view of black males is important in determining their success in a professional environment.
P.S. Kike - derisive term for Jews
Kyke - to stare at
I don't think that's unique to our time period or culture, X.
Or, is it even unique to people with dark skin.
People have always seen "outsiders" as threatening and what better way to tell if somebody is not of your own ilk than skin color? (rhetorical question)
For instance, I was readin' Richard III the other day, and both kings at the end of the play mention the possibility that if their respective army would lose the war, there would be a very good chance that the victors would rape their women. They were both white though...and this was just in Shakespeare's time...
It's an us vs. them mentality, and while it's shitty...I don't believe that it actually has any merit in the workplace.
I mean, do you really think that a boss thinks (even subconsciously) "Hey, I can't hire this black man...he might fuck my daughter!"
Usually, no.
And if that's the case...good looking white boys like me have the same problem.
-Gaudio
First and foremost, I had no idea kyke was actually a verb. Thanks.
Second, well said Nick. Racism is about seeing 'others' as 'different in a bad way' as opposed to 'different in a differnt way.' Stereotyping is something else entirely
Third, i have a policy not to post in online debates more than two or three times (It's not like i'm gonna change my or anyone else's mind), and i think i just hit my threshold. Ya'll have fun.
Nick:
Thanks for the thoughts and the reply. As for the West Virginia thing, I know. My wife is from Huntington. Most people hear that and think the stereotypical dumb ass coal miner bit, and most, if not all, fail to realize that she went to Vandy, graduated with a BA and MS with a 4.0 in both and speaks 4 languages, fluently. Further, I would bet you 99% of the population don't realize that Intaocular Lenses for Catarac transplants were practically invented in West By God Virgina. Two of the biggest manufacturers of them in the fucking world were in Huntington. An yone see where i am going here?
I apologize if I offende your sensibilites with the liberal comment, but I was trying to make a point. A real one, not one like Chamley. Using a word like liberal helped pick a small fight. But nobody had a problem with the southern thing. No one disagreed with it at all. By the way the oldest saying in the world in regards to liberal/conservative is this: If you are under 25 and are not a liberal, then you have no heart, if you are over 35 and are not a conservative, you have no brain!
-Kev
The problem I have with all this is that somehow white people are considered the only ones capable of being racist. If a person of a different race were to make some sort of derogatory remark towards me, I would be expected to laugh it off and not take offence. I have no real problem with this, I find the terms cracker and honky hilarious, i can laugh at myself. But if I were to go up to a person of different race and use the word nigger/chink/spick/etc., it would cause the other person to get angry and I would be in the wrong. I see a double standard here. Go ahead and make fun of all the white trailer-trash you want to (the worst of white society), but I expect the exchage to flow both ways, I should be allowed by society to make fun of all the uneducated, ghetto blacks I want to (the worst of black society). You see I can laugh when someone makes fun of the worst that my race has to offer becasue I make fun of them to, but for some reason other races can't seem to do the same. Again, I see that as a societal inequality.
Kevin,
I'll agree 100% with the West Virginia comment, but the liberal thing...well I think that's ironically another stereotype that you're perpetuating.
Not that stereotypes aren't wrong...hell, that's what I'm arguing for: my right to use them without societal repercussion.
So...you win this round. heh.
As for you anonymous, thanks for the reply and I agree 100% with what you're sayin'. Only thing is, with your post, I've actually come to realize that this socieal "PC" thing is actually a means of gaining power for the races who feel powerless (or oppressed). This may or may not be the case, in today's America.







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