This is One Post

The Tampa Bay Rays, a professional baseball team currently in first place in its division, has the following slogan: We Are One Team! Wow.

If you wanted to tell me nothing, Formerly Devil Rays, you could have used four less words. I mean, seriously, were you guys actually thinking that you were two or possibly even three teams? If so, the entire front office needs to be replaced. You are one team. You've always been one team. You'll continue to be one team until the old people in the bay area decide otherwise. Seriously, work on your slogans.


Hitting on girls while you have no car and no money is pretty difficult. I've been conducting some trial runs and so far, these are the only pickup lines that have kept the chicks within striking distance, though ultimately they all failed in the end:

"I think you should definitely ask me out."

"If I had any amount of money whatsoever, I would definitely buy you a drink."

"You know, you look like the kind of girl who's just not impressed by money, which is great because I don't have any."

"You know, walking is really underrated as a form of exercise."

And the least successful of all of these lines:

"Cars are seriously overrated and cause pollution. That's why I'm going green."

So yeah uhh, this is kind of a new situation for me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. The best advice I've been given was just to hang out on campus. Apparently, a lot of college girls don't even expect you to have a car. So that's something.


As I often do, I spent some time thinking about supply and demand. Sunday night, before my head hit the pillow, I started thinking of what the world would be like if China had the same consumption numbers per capita as we do here in the States. I did not sleep well.


And finally, because logic and fluidity are busy pulling seaweed out of their shorts (don't ask), I leave you with the following, which some chick actually asked me in Gainesville this weekend:

"Hey, you want to help me pick up this trash?"

Uh, no. No I do not.

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