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Recent Comments
Love and Haiti
Love and Haiti
>>> Ask
Nicole
By staff writer Nicole McKaig
September 29, 2004
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Dear Nicole,
Hi my name is Ravi and I'm living in Zimbabwe. I lived in the US for a couple of years and then moved around to UK, Spain, South Africa, Mozambique, and more
recently to Haiti to be with my girl....um, well now my ex...only to find out that she's been dating someone else there for the past 5 months. Anyway I'm back
and was wondering if you could post my message in your column with my email address so if there are any half-decent girls or guys visiting Zimbabwe can contact
me. It's just that company this side of the world can be a BIT boring....um intellectually challenging! Oh well thanks.
-Ravi
Dear Ravi,
People date in Haiti? I thought they spent most of their time starving, performing Voodoo zombification rituals, and pimping out AIDS orphans. Not that there's
anything wrong with that. So, if you're planning a mid-semester dream vacation to Zimbabwe, ask for Ravi.
Sincerely,
Nicole
Dear Nicole,
Are you gonna vote to re-elect George Bush? I mean what's a better combo than Bush and Dick?
-GOP Girl
Dear GOP Girl,
Congrats GOP Girl, I think the Bush campaign just found a new slogan! As for my vote, I'm not sure. Should I join the self-righteous, ill-informed liberals in the
throws of Moore-gasm? Or perhaps align myself with the corn-fed, gun-toting conservatives down at the Feed Grange? Either way I don't want to end up like Amir,
whose interest in politics is limited to necrophilic humor concerning President
Reagan's nether regions.
Sincerely,
Nicole
Next question below ad
Dear Nicole,
There is this girl that I like, but she likes another girl and that girl likes me. What should I do?
-John
Dear John,
As I've mentioned in the past, daytime television talk shows are an excellent way to resolve long-standing emotional conflicts and find contentment in honest,
fulfilling relationships. Your dilemma would be perfect; audiences love guys caught in lesbian love triangles. For general reference, here are several of the most
popular topics as determined by the National Institute of Unwarranted Research:
1) My 7-year-old is having unprotected sex
2) “Dat yo’ baby.“
“Dat ain’t my baby.”
“Dat yo’ baby.”
“Dat ain’t my baby.”
“Dat yo’ baby.”
“Dat ain’t my baby.”
3) Children born without a torso get Disneyland tickets
4) I used to be ugly, but now I’m a slut
5) My toddler dresses too sexy
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3 Comments
Hoe
Dear writer,
I was surfing through the web, and came across one of your article. It was very disturbing to me, and would be to millions if they were to read it.
See, I'm Haitian but that's beside the point. At first I was thinking I may have
to explain to you the reality of Haiti because you may not know. I realized
though, She's not just ignorant; she's beyond that: This is really the exact
definition of stupid. How can you call yourself a writer?
I'll tell you this, yes, people do date in Haiti, and no, starvation, voodoo,
and "pimping aids orphans" are not hobbies. Maybe you think that Haiti is on another planet, but for your information, it's actually on earth, in the Caribbean to be precise: The people do have a life. It may be a hard one, but it's still a life. They are human, you know. So, they love, and marry, and eat, and do what normal people do.
Last time time I checked,
1) Some people starve even in the great USA
2)Voodoo, not that I'm a fan, is practiced in many countries including the USA
3)USA has millions of AIDS orphans, and so does other countries. These are
sad facts; they're nothing to be joking or malicious about.
You know what though ? It's ok because before I met any Americans, I thought they were all so ignorant. They proved me so very wrong. However, sometimes you
just come across one American, and it makes you wonder...
Dear Nicole,
I spent most of my time starving, performing Voodoo zombification rituals, and pimping out AIDS orphans, isn't it?
Well, wait! you're will the next zombie.
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