Project Goodyer
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Classics II

Dear Wayne,

Hi.

You're probably wondering who this letter is from. I want to tell you and I will one day, but now is not the right time.
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Merry Christmas Everyone!


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Classics

Dear Ronny,

My dad found a job and we are moving away. I have to break up with you.
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Re: Magician for hire

Date: Nov 9, 2006 12:33 EST
From: John Bell {John&Cindy@home.net}
To: WallyTheMagician@magic.com
Subject: Re:Magician for hire

Dear Walter,

You sound great!!

See you this Saturday then!

John.

Date: Nov.7, 2006 5:49 EST
From: WallyTheMagician@magic.com
To: John&Cindy@home.net
Subject: Magician for hire Read More »
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Santa is Coming!

Dear Chuck,

Hey thanks for the lift yesterday to work - Really appreicated that.

Is your phone line down right now? I'm trying to call you but it says the number isn't in service!? What's going on with that?
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Bored Out of My Mind

Dear Diary,

So yesterday I'm sitting in the family room bored out of my mind.
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Halloween II

Dear Son,

The monster under your bed is named Lord Helmut.

He was once a man in the 14th century before he was crufied as a witch and set on fire at the cross. As he was burning alive he quicky managed to make a pack with the devil. The deal was he would survive the burning in exchange for his soul.

And so he lost his soul.
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Happy Halloween!!

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The Birds 'n the Bees - Presentation Script

Hi Jonathan, your mother, being a single parent, has invited me into your house today to talk to you about the birds and the bees. She feels this kind of discussion should be between yourself and another male.

Instead of a boring talk like I got when I was a kid, I thought it would be more interesting to put on a video presentation for you.
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Cover Letter

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Miss Janice Taylor
Human Resource Director
765 Wellington Street East


Dear Miss Taylor,
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Re: Dot Matrix printer ad

Dear Mr. R. Carpenter,

I figured I'd email you instead of playing another round of fuckin' phone tag. Until that sweet day comes, when I can finally own a female cyborg with a sweet pair of tits and a brain that is only programmed to insert my sweet nuts into her mouth all day long,....technology will remain annoying.

And I'll continue to complain.
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Our First Gig

From: Chaz {GetHERdone@hotmail.com}
To: Bobby {Bobby2hotty@gmail.com}, Heather {Tits45@hotmail.com}, Johnny {J-AIDS@hotmail.com}
Sent: Monday, October 02, 2006 4:34 PM
Subject: Lets do this!


Hey Comedy Troupe!

Finally after a full year of auditioning....I finally got us our first GIG!!!.....well kind of.
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Sir Zach Attack

Dear Father,

Long time, no talk.

How are things? Its been what? 9 years since I last talked to you. You dead yet old man? haha.

I'm doing well for myself.... Real well actually.

Finally found myself a woman.
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Suicide Letter

Dear Little Jakey,

I'm writing this letter (and don't worry, no big words allowed) to you because I have some bad news to tell you: I'm sorry, but you won't be able to come over anymore for your after school daily royal rumble wrestling matches. :-(
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Celebrity

Dear Horatio,
Your son Felix found a picture of you sleeping on the world wide web.
Why didn't you tell your a celebrity??
Why were you on world wide web??? Felix google you. Are you a real celbrity now?
Sometime i wonder why we divorce. Maybe you want to come back home please?
I love,
Antonia
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