Observations from My So Called Fucking Life

Put up several tallies in the win column for that girlfriend.

The text-fest has to end though. Every four minutes my phone vibrates and lets me know that, in fact, she had nothing any more useful to say than four minutes ago.

I hate you for fucking that woman. Jesus. Guys like you make the rest of us feel like the losers we apparently are. Fuck.

nate i freaking love you...!!!!!

I can only imagine the look on your dad's face when you brought that one home.. I bet he's one proud father.

Ah. Tampa and it's wonderful supply of silicone/saline. What is it about that town that makes its women do that?

And he returns, storming back in with an even larger breasted lady than before. Well played Nate

Has she told you yet that they're not real?

Cry me a river. Jobs this girlfriend that, this website doesn't pay me, whatever. You provided this website with quality content for years, on a reliable schedule and earned yourself a following. One day you decided your future job security and potential legal troubles were more important than the tiny bit of internet fame you had earned and you decided you wanted out. Fucking sweet. You ended thing like a good movie. wrapped up and done. We weren't supposed to have to worry about shitty have hearted sequels with you. But here we are, you came back with a blast, we didn't expect it, you were the first sequel to Rocky. And now we have a post about how you may or may not like your hot girlfriend and why her hotness distracts from character flaws. Listen up, nobody cares about that weak writing. Every guy out their deals with the every fourth text because every woman wants to be in constant contact with their man and all we want is one fucking minute alone. Then I come here I read you doing what I just did. It's like Speilberg saying, "Hey, guess what guys! Indi isn't done after all. We're going to bring him back to fellate a giant crystal dong. Won't that be awesome!?!" And you're right we all made the choice to go see it, just like we make the choice to come here and read your material. I didn't HAVE to, but because of the skill and consistency you brought in the past I believed the future would hold the same. Either bring the heat, or disappear altoghter. Don't just linger with this half assed bullshit. Just because writing every once in a while gives you an outlet doesn't mean you should pollute the internet. Write in a journal instead. I reiterate, bring the heat or go home.

Andrie,

My comment was not meant to flame. Nate is a writer with considerable talent. I love his work. The point is, he was ready to go out, he left us with a high note. Then he came back. Instead of providing us with consistent Primal Urges, he posts occasionally, when he can bring himself to it. What this column now lacks (to Andrie and Nate) is consistency. the power of your voice (Nate) is lost because you are using this as an outlet for petty grievances, where before you (Nate) made fun of universal and important issues ignored by most in a way that only those with some smarts, a penchant for writing and a thirst for booze can. Do I continue to come here and read his articles for their superior quality? Yes. Am I happy that it is far below what he is capable of? Nate decide what you want out of this, and if it's a place to shit, then so be it. But your writing has so inspired me that to see you write in this fashion makes me sad. What it really comes down to is, I felt a relationship was building between you, and I (and all readers) and I feel betrayed. I feel like the jaded lover you keep on the back burner. I can't leave, but I'm left wallowing in misery. Andrei, as far as I go as a comment flamer, I'm not trying to hate. What I want is honesty. And hypocrisy? Fucking stupid. Only the narcissist believes that a response to an anonymous blog comment brings him any kind of self worth or notoriety. As far as internet pollution goes, I feel that my lengthy opinion isn't produced without thought. I also feel that I don't care what your bitch ass thinks and hope that Nate takes a look at this and steps up or steps out allowing a new writer to take his place. Take applications Nate, he who best fits what you think your audience is, throw your support behind. That is what makes the world a better place. Not entitlement for entitlement's sake. Ass.

Also Andrei,

A number of things about your comment and profile make me angry. 1. you say I comment with anonymity because I don't have a profile. Who gives a shit. My sister could have made your profile and no one would know or care. 2. Just because you have an educated background (I am assuming your profile is true. But tell me why and how would a man business educated graduate to Juliard?) doesn't mean you have the social intelligence to interact with people in the real world. Which I feel is obvious by your profile. So from one social heathen to another, fuck off. Your post to repudiate my post reeks of self importance and a belief that you are Nate's personal friend. He doesn't give a shit about you and if he cared about this column he would respond to me directly. It's not like there are too many comments for him to read and therefore you need to spend your every waking moment filtering the sinners from the saints. You suck.

Court, i know nate hasn't posted in awhile but jesus christ, vent your rage somewhere besides an anon comment please.

I see you're still kicking and working the crowd? Congrats on dating Budweiser Barbie. One question however my friend, should this relationship be based on large body parts, where does that leave you? Speaking of big deals; Lou Gehrig is disappointed over steroid use in MLB. Yet, to the bright side, drug companies have cured Erectile Dysfunction, While ALS waits.

Come down any time my friend, bring Barbie too! You can probably stay with Brad.

Leon, you're as funny as you are handsome.

Now everyone, deep breath. It's just the internet. It's like this all the time.