They say, “Beggars can’t be Choosers.” and they’re right. If you’re starving, eating a prune sandwich on wheat isn’t something you should be bitching about.
But I’m no beggar…
So I hate sluts.
Easy there cowboy, I didn’t say that I wouldn’t have sex with a slut if I were in a dire situation…I’m just sayin that any self-respecting guy shouldn’t want to be a with a whore, that’s all.
Not to mention these very obvious facts:
1) Sluts have STDS
2) Sluts offer little to no challenge
3) Sluts will probably cheat on you
The worst thing about this is that 99.99% of girls are sluts. That is, ladies, if you’re reading this with a friend…look at her…and tell her that she’s a golddigging whore. Cause she is.
Now let her tell you that you’re a cumsucking wench.
Anyways, the reason I’m prefacing today’s blog entry with this is…well…read the story and you’ll understand why I’m bitching.
I’m a Stupid Cunt, Sometimes
Last Saturday night, my group of good friends and I went downtown to a bar. We all got pretty hammered and eventually caught Morgantown’s infamous Drunk Bus back to my buddy’s place after shooting some pool, taking to some girls, etc. etc.
Well, when we got back to his place, there was a party already going on. A decent sized get-together…about 30 people.
As I strolled through the door, who else did I see but a girl I was interested in last year. We went out for coffee a few times, I took her to a party or two…eventually she was just a little too holier-than-thou for me to deal with…so I stopped calling her. A few weeks ago, I ran into her at another party, where she appeared to be just how I left her…and for some reason I had pangs of guilt (which only happens to me when I feel like I’ve hurt a Lady’s feelings) , so I apologized for the whole sudden stoppage of communication. She accepted, smiled her little “Jesus Christ curing the Leper” smile and went off.
However, here at this party she was drunk as all hell, had soaking wet hair, and had apparently been smoking weed somewhere. In a phrase…she was the personification of the word slut.
(Now, don’t get me wrong…..all of those things are wonderful in moderation…even dancing in the rain…)
I went over and said hi. She acted insanely avoiding…as though I had just caught on to her secret…so, I left her to her own devices and went out on the balcony for a cigarette.
When I came back, she was sucking face with my buddy (more or less an acquaintence). Which, I didn’t really care too much about it, other than the fact that she stopped when I came in, and pushed him away…as if trying (in vain) to appear holy to me. *You see, in our coffee-shop conversations, I had mentioned numerous times that I didn’t like slutty girls…
She was pathetic… even leading my friend on. So, I ignored her some more and she and dude left…
Fifty or so minutes later, I get a call from her…Turns out, after she sucked his dick, he dropped her ass off on the road and ditched her in the rain.
She wanted me to come pick her up.
Guess what I did?
Let’s just say…My buddy Shaun and I went 11-0 in beerpong and took no breaks.
So, in essense, the real reason I’m really bitching here is that I’m really mad at myself for thinking that she was being real with me when I had feelings for her. Also, I’m really pissed that I had it wrong when I dubbed her a lady and respected her. Not to mention APOLOGIZED.
Next time, I’m going to have to realize that I’ve gotta to stop being polite, and start getting real:
Real World, West Virginia.
Oh yeah…I almost forgot…to reader Jessica:
Wanna know why I fell of the face of the earth?
Because you’re insane. Now leave me the fuck alone.