Seriously. I know this is a little late in all, but I still think about it on a daily basis. I was a swimmer for a good chunk of my life and still swim to stay in shape. But every four years I have to listen to people preach to me like they know something about swimming. News flash, you don’t know shit about swimming from watching a 1 minute race, or listening to announcers. Feel free to talk to other non swimmers about it, but please do not try to keep up with me in a conversation about it. People still walk up to me and say:

"Michael Phelps must be, like your Idol."
"I’ve never met him, heard from people who have swam against him that he’s a complete dick in a non sportsmanship way, and just because we both swam doesn’t mean he’s my Idol. Do you like Michael Jordan because your black? No, I didn’t think so."

I know too many people who comment about the fact that good swimmers will talk shit to other swimmers around them before their races. Does that make them bad people? No. Should they stop doing it? No, it’s called psyching someone out, or intimidating them into swimming like shit. I’ve beaten people who were faster than me in time trials because I got into their heads. We usually only talk shit behind the blocks (You know, those things we jump off of at the start of a race. I’m sure you know that oh wise one.) I’m still friends with most of the kids who rivaled me in my high school years because it’s about proving your better. And Phelps is not my Idol. Why would you assume this?

"Those bodysuits aren’t really fair. They help cut off time and beat faster people."
"Oh do they really? So when everyone is wearing them and everyone drops the same amount of time, it’s still based on who is faster. Do you complain when Nike releases new basketball shoes? Please leave me alone."

"His technique is all wrong. That’s why he lost."
"No, he lost because he is tired. You don’t know shit about technique."

Technique in swimming is like all other sports. It takes time to master. Even professionals can mess it up. But because you watched three races doesn’t make you an accurate judge. Have you swam on a team where you were criticized for technique? If you have, throw the first stone. If not, go back to the quarry and wait for a relevant event you can talk about. I coached for awhile, and I know what technique looks like. You don’t, ass.

"Those Speedos are gay. You must be gay."
"You’re right. I stand around in a piece of clothing that shows off how huge my penis is and shows my ripped abs and chest to most of the half naked girls around me. I’ve gotten more pussy in my life because of swimming than your rufie tactics will ever get you. Next question faggot."

"I’m going to watch swimming more often."
"No your not."

Bandwagoning pisses me off. Whether it’s football, baseball, or a sport you know you don’t give a shit about, like swimming, don‘t bandwagon. I’m glad you root for America and that’s okay, but don’t shoot off swimming statistics about swimmers you’ll never hear from again after the Olympics. Just watch it until it’s over then proceed like nothing every happened.

"You went to state in high school for swimming, why don’t you try out for the Olympics?
"Because I tool 11th and didn’t shatter any records you fool."
"But your times match theirs though."
"Only when they swim in a meter pool and I swim in a yard pool. If I were fast enough for the Olympics, don’t you think I’d be there?"

That question isn’t worth answering because it’s so stupid. Fuck this my buzz is ruined. I’m done.