Three of every five people have participated in extra curricular activities. One out of every four ‘active’ college students is suffering from an extra curricular addiction, and they need your help. In order to help your ailing comrade, you need to know a few things about Extra-Curricular Addiction or ECA.

ECA is a serious disorder that is medically defined as “psychological and physiological need to join various clubs, teams, councils, and volunteer positions sponsored by an academic institution.” People who call themselves or display the personality traits of over-achievers, perfectionists, and/or social butterflies are the most susceptible to ECA. Children of “college admissions aware” parents are also susceptible to ECA. If a person who has been exposed to the phrase “this will make you well-rounded,” are at a high risk for developing ECA.

Symptoms of Extra Curricular Addiction include an irregular sleep pattern, rapid weight loss, rapid weight gain, paranoia, short term memory loss and an ill-kept appearance such as wrinkled or unclean clothes, uncombed hair, graying socks or underwear, and/or pit stains.

If you are worried that you or someone you know is suffering from ECA, please stop kidding yourself. It’s a made-up disease just like Restless Leg Syndrome. The only real difference between ECA and RLS is that ECA is not backed up by a large drug manufacturer. If you really want to what your problem is, it is this; you bit off more than you can chew. The cures for trying to stuff your face are to spit something out and to stop chewing with just one side of your mouth.

Oh, and if you can’t get the help you need, maybe you should try asking nicely for a change.

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