Funny Guides and Lists

Hilarious how-to's, funny rules, and colorful advice, conveniently presented in numerical, graphical, and easy-to-laugh format. (Rarely in 3D.) Submit an article »

Mark Hutchins's picture

Five Made-Up Indie Bands You'll Never Hear This Year

They're new, they're obscure, they don't even exist. But that doesn't stop me from sharing them with you.

1. Porcine Fingerhut Damage Read More »

Daryl Blankert's picture

How to Tell the Discussion in Your Women's Studies Class is Going Nowhere

The premise: gather together a bunch of educated, politically active millennial women to have a lively discourse on the issues of today, and the competing opinions will be fascinating! As a professor, you salivate over the possibility of contentious exchanges over sensitive issues. Your spine tingles with the thought of the abortion debate... Read More »

Stacy Ryan's picture

6 Things I Can Do That Michael Phelps Can't

The U.S. is in the midst of gathering Olympic medals like a mosquito collects blood. Michael Phelps, the half German/half shark "Baltimore Bullet," has continued to dominate the pool as always, bringing his total medal count to a record 1,673 gold, 1,219 silver, and 2½ bronze. Read More »

Nicholas Vrchoticky's picture

6 Ways He Pees She Doesn't Understand

There are some things those without a penis just don't understand. Though well-known facts among men, woman may not know of the several ways he pees. But let me tell you ladies, there's more to urinating than unleashing the spout, draining the bladder, and calling it a day. Read More »

Clayton Moore's picture

Seven On-Screen Friends Who Hated Each Other in Real Life

1. Jar Jar Binks and Liam Neeson (Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace)

Though they were on-screen allies in The Phantom Menace, Binks and Neeson despised each other in real life. Binks said Neeson's off-camera pranks and goofs created a silly atmosphere on set, which detracted from the serious tone of the film. Neeson thought Binks was a stick in the mud who didn't know how to have a good time. Allegedly the two haven't spoken in years. Read More »

Nick East's picture

Office Fart Attacks: 7 Gas-Powered Aggressions to Win at Work

There are several ways you can use your God-given ability to produce weaponized shitclouds for personal satisfaction and enjoyment in the workplace. I refer to this category of passive-aggressive office maneuvers as "Fart Attacks." We'll begin the discussion with one of my favorites: Elevator Farts. Read More »

Susan M. Gelles's picture

How to Not Fall Asleep Quickly: A 12-Step Guide for Single Women

1. As you lie alone in your darkened, temperature-controlled bedroom, comfortably ensconced between satin sheets that are cool and slippery, but not too cool and slippery, see if you can count up how many men you've ever seriously dated in your entire life. Read More »

Ashley Ingle's picture

Forgetting Your Password: The Five Stages of Grief

1. Denial

No, I did not enter my password incorrectly.

Ok, re-enter the password slowly; I'll look at my fingers as they hit the keys.

Error message?! This is not happening. Read More »

Tiffany Appleton's picture

11 FAQ's Before Applying to Be on "The Bachelor"

What are you looking for in a contestant?

There's no one formula for love. That being said, we're looking for naturally or surgically beautiful women in the IQ range of 70-89 with oblique abdominals that can crack a pistachio (please illustrate this in your casting tape). Read More »

Mike Bouley's picture

How to Make a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

One has many obstacles to surmount when constructing the proper peanut butter (PB) and jelly (J) sandwich.  The entire process is fraught with peril and risk to one's own safety and emotional well-being. As a result, this guide has been produced to assist the intrepid sandwich artist as he or she approaches this daunting task. Read More »

Wesley Jansen's picture

How to Survive a Break-Up: 10 Guidelines of Emotional Support

Breaking up with someone can be extremely painful—I should know, I watched it happen on TV once. When two people fall in love, they build their lives, hopes, and dreams around one another. Read More »

David Brinn Silly's picture

6 Death Penalty Methods for Capital Punishment Traditionalists

They discontinued the electric chair in Florida because they said it wasn't safe. It was called "Old Sparky" a cute cuddly Dalmatian of a name. They said it was cruel and unusual punishment because when they strapped someone to it, the head caught fire. Sounds like it was doing the job to me. Read More »

Sam White's picture

7 Situations in Which Never to Use a List-Based Format

There are three industries in which the internet crushes all opposition like a bulldozer on a kitten, and they are: Read More »

  1. Oh, yeah, kittens...
  2. Porn
  3. What have I just made..? Yes, a list(s)!
Raffael Fiano's picture

5 Steps to Becoming a High-Functioning Alcoholic

Alcohol is great. Anybody who says different is either a loser who thinks he's better than everybody else because he "doesn't need alcohol to have fun," or an alcoholic. It's easy to become the latter, since life is pretty terrible, so the question is: how to keep drinking and still (appear to) be a functioning member of society? Read More »

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