Funny Guides and Lists

Hilarious how-to's, funny rules, and colorful advice, conveniently presented in numerical, graphical, and easy-to-laugh format. (Rarely in 3D.) Submit an article »

Larry Ryals's picture

17 Signs Walmart is Seizing Government Control and Declaring Martial Law

Walmart evil face

1. Eleven posts on Quora to that effect.

2. Walmart security informs me they'll need to perform a retinal scan to ensure I have clearance to complete my avocado and sprout salad purchase, but fails to mention the 7-hour "good Walmart cop, bad Walmart cop" interrogation and cavity search. Read More »

Alex Miller's picture

5 Reasons It's Fun to Be the Bad Guy

Bad guy wearing a gangster hat

Nietzsche suggests that the idea of good "does not emanate from those to whom goodness is shown!" History will show, and has shown, that the "good" have always been those who conquer, screw over, and suppress. Read More »

Kyle Bauer's picture

My Top 10 Childhood Girl Crushes from 90's Kids Shows

Sabrina the Teenage Witch

This list reflects my opinions so don't get pissed if your childhood favorites didn't make the cut. Also, keep in mind that I was never over the age of 6 in the 90's, so my taste in women during this decade was slightly different than it is now. Read More »

Marty Braxton's picture

Ideas for Friends Season 11 Episodes

Joey on Friends Season 11

After what can only be described as the most-watched television event since Kimbo Slice struggling through the "General Knowledge" round on Jeopardy, how could the Friends writers and crew possibly continue the series after their ball-fizzingly perfect finale? Here are some ideas that should appeal to hardcores (Frenonites) and casuals alike. Read More »

Gavin Pitt's picture

Top 5 Sexiest Male Psychopaths

Bloody faced Christian Bale in American Psycho

Hoy-hoy, Halloweeners, and welcome to another installment of the "Trick or Treating Twosome's Halloween Hottie List." Andrei "Eli Roth" Trostel tackles the ladies, and Gavin "soon to be Colton Haynes' husband" Pitts goes for the gentlemen. Read More »

Audley Upton's picture

How to Fold a Fitted Sheet: Instructions for Couples and Singles

How to fold a fitted sheet

Folding a Fitted Sheet: Instructions for Couples

If you are cohabitating with someone or you are married and filed a single tax return as a couple, these are your instructions for folding a fitted sheet. Read More »

Stephanie Brown's picture

Your Pet May Be Trying to Kill You

Killer pet dog showing teeth in a snarl

As pet owners, we all like to think that our dog or cat loves us as much as we love them. In any relationship, there is the possibility that our feelings aren't being returned the way we want them to. Jealousy, envy, or the occasional bath could be at the root of your problems. Whatever the cause, here are ten possible life-threatening scenarios that you should be aware of. Read More »

Alex Miller's picture

If Kanye's Not Bipolar, Neither Am I

Kanye West with opaque black sunglasses on

Would you hit a guy with glass on? No. But let that M'Fer take his four eyes off and watch me Superman that ho! This simple, playground logic can also be applied to the issue of Kanye West. Yes, he can be a jerk. Yes, he lives large. But what if he can't help it? Would you bash Kanye if he was bipolar? Read More »

Sheila Hageman's picture

10 Tips for New Moms and Strippers

It's here, the moment you've been dreading and looking forward to for what feels like forever: your first day on the job at the strip club,'ve just gone into labor and it's time to rush to the hospital to give birth. Or no, let's face it, you've probably got hours to get there. Read More »

Lucas Hubbard's picture

How to Have Your Food and Not Pay for It Too

Chick-fil-A Polynesian sauce tub

I'm a foodie at heart, but I'm cheap and lazy in reality. Luckily, with a bit of elbow grease and a lot of elbow macaroni, I've figured out a way to both have my free cake and eat it to excess.

Five Guys "Endless Peanuts" Standoff  Read More »

Alex Miller's picture

Softees: Five Reasons Americans are About as Hard as Pudding

Crying eagle on an American flag

Yes,'re soft! As you pull your handkerchief out of the inside pocket of your three-piece Brooks Brothers suit and cry, let me give some context: people used to die on the assembly line, or on the sides of cliffs, making room for two other people to die in their place. Remember when Americans could get dysentery and be trampled to paste by a horse somewhere along the Oregon Trail? Read More »

Wesley Jansen's picture

A Nitpicky Guide for Dealing with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

OCD grass cutting

If you don't tie your shoelaces in exactly the right way after you wake up in the morning, do you feel that your day will go horribly wrong? Do you check to make sure the door to your house is locked about seven different times before you actually leave for work? Read More »

Tim Foley's picture

Seven Reasons to Put Your Cat in the Microwave

Cat afraid of microwave

Everyone has that one friend who needs a little extra attention when the going gets tough. But what can you do when life gets ahead of you and you're not rolling with the punches? We sat down at the station with your questions and put together all the issues that matter most to you, our readers.

Here are seven reasons to put your cat in the microwave. Read More »

Lucas Gardner's picture

The Third Cop in the Good Cop, Bad Cop Routine

Tired, horny cop

The good cop/bad cop routine is a classic interrogation tactic used in every interrogation room in damn near every police precinct in the world. It's a simple psychological trick: the "bad cop" goes into the interrogation room and gives the suspect hell, taking a highly aggressive approach, making threats and accusations. Read More »

Kyle Bauer's picture

Twitter Translations: College Girl Edition

Twitter girl with big red lips

If you're not a seasoned veteran of the Twitter streets then some of these girls' tweets might be hard to decipher. After a few years of research and experiments, I have gradually turned into the Rosetta Stone of this Twitter shit. Let me start off with some basic translations for beginners.

"Someone come cuddle" Read More »

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