Funny Guides and Lists

Hilarious how-to's, funny rules, and colorful advice, conveniently presented in numerical, graphical, and easy-to-laugh format. (Rarely in 3D.) Submit an article »

Alex Miller's picture

If Kanye's Not Bipolar, Neither Am I

Kanye West with opaque black sunglasses on

Would you hit a guy with glass on? No. But let that M'Fer take his four eyes off and watch me Superman that ho! This simple, playground logic can also be applied to the issue of Kanye West. Yes, he can be a jerk. Yes, he lives large. But what if he can't help it? Would you bash Kanye if he was bipolar? Read More »

Sheila Hageman's picture

10 Tips for New Moms and Strippers

It's here, the moment you've been dreading and looking forward to for what feels like forever: your first day on the job at the strip club,'ve just gone into labor and it's time to rush to the hospital to give birth. Or no, let's face it, you've probably got hours to get there. Read More »

Lucas Hubbard's picture

How to Have Your Food and Not Pay for It Too

Chick-fil-A Polynesian sauce tub

I'm a foodie at heart, but I'm cheap and lazy in reality. Luckily, with a bit of elbow grease and a lot of elbow macaroni, I've figured out a way to both have my free cake and eat it to excess.

Five Guys "Endless Peanuts" Standoff  Read More »

Alex Miller's picture

Softees: Five Reasons Americans are About as Hard as Pudding

Crying eagle on an American flag

Yes,'re soft! As you pull your handkerchief out of the inside pocket of your three-piece Brooks Brothers suit and cry, let me give some context: people used to die on the assembly line, or on the sides of cliffs, making room for two other people to die in their place. Remember when Americans could get dysentery and be trampled to paste by a horse somewhere along the Oregon Trail? Read More »

Wesley Jansen's picture

A Nitpicky Guide for Dealing with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

OCD grass cutting

If you don't tie your shoelaces in exactly the right way after you wake up in the morning, do you feel that your day will go horribly wrong? Do you check to make sure the door to your house is locked about seven different times before you actually leave for work? Read More »

Tim Foley's picture

Seven Reasons to Put Your Cat in the Microwave

Cat afraid of microwave

Everyone has that one friend who needs a little extra attention when the going gets tough. But what can you do when life gets ahead of you and you're not rolling with the punches? We sat down at the station with your questions and put together all the issues that matter most to you, our readers.

Here are seven reasons to put your cat in the microwave. Read More »

Lucas Gardner's picture

The Third Cop in the Good Cop, Bad Cop Routine

Tired, horny cop

The good cop/bad cop routine is a classic interrogation tactic used in every interrogation room in damn near every police precinct in the world. It's a simple psychological trick: the "bad cop" goes into the interrogation room and gives the suspect hell, taking a highly aggressive approach, making threats and accusations. Read More »

Kyle Bauer's picture

Twitter Translations: College Girl Edition

Twitter girl with big red lips

If you're not a seasoned veteran of the Twitter streets then some of these girls' tweets might be hard to decipher. After a few years of research and experiments, I have gradually turned into the Rosetta Stone of this Twitter shit. Let me start off with some basic translations for beginners.

"Someone come cuddle" Read More »

Lucas Hubbard's picture

How to Completely Empathize with Road-Raged Drivers

Man with road rage gesturing out his car window

So you want to get your driver's license. You're excited to learn your hand positions of 10-and-2 and your parallel parking and your highway merging. And if you're like most everyone else, then you think learning all this is how you'll become a driver. Read More »

Joseph R. Honescko's picture

The Absolute Douchebag's Guide to Driving

Douchebag driver

Oh man, the first thing you're gonna need is a truck.

1. When selecting a truck, always remember the golden rule: the bigger, the better.

This rule will apply to almost everything we talk about, other than your tank top. Read More »

Kyle Bauer's picture

5 Valuable Tips for Incoming College Freshman Dudes

College freshman guy

High school graduates all over the country are gearing up for college and have no idea what to anticipate or expect. Move-in day is still a couple of months away, but the aroma of cargo shorts and freshly purchased lanyards is already filling the air, so I decided to deliver some of the most valuable, first-hand knowledge and advice I could think of for all the incoming freshmen dudes out there. Read More »

Tim Sullivan's picture

A Handy Guide to Omen-Based Investing

Crow as an omen for investing

Have you ever wanted to start playing the markets, but don't know where to start? Are you already investing and want to take your trading to the next level? Does it seem like investing is a full-time job, one you just can't fit in to your schedule? Read More »

Alex von Sternberg's picture

The Biggest Threat to Marriage Equality is Apophis

Pride flag with blue sky

In a landmark decision yesterday, the United States Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples can marry nationwide, a move that many see as a cause to celebrate, and others see as a cause to bemoan. This is understandable, seeing as the topic of "gay marriage" has been in the political lexicon for nearly 30 years, with debates raging around policies such as the 1994 "Don't Ask Don't Tell" ruling (and its 2011 repeal) or the Defense of Marriage Act in 1996 causing quite a stir. Read More »

Jim Wesley's picture

Three Compelling Reasons Bigfoot is Real

Bigfoot Crossing sign

Bigfoot, a giant, ape-like man (that should actually be called Bigfeet because it's a biped), is real and I am going to give you three conclusive reasons why. This hippie-like monster of an ape has been cruising through the forests and mountains of North America for! Read More »

Charles Hartley's picture

Three Worthless Insights Worth Remembering

Erasing pencil

Here are three insights of use to no one...

1. Don't lie on the street and have a construction worker ride his jackhammer and drive the sharp-edged side into your forehead.

This is a useless insight on many levels. Read More »

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