Funny Guides and Lists
Hilarious how-to's, funny rules, and colorful advice, conveniently presented in numerical, graphical, and easy-to-laugh format. (Rarely in 3D.) Submit an article »
The media portrays millennials as lazy little losers who won't get off the couch long enough to apply for a job. But not all millennials are disaffected, undisciplined people. Take my little Janie, for example. Janie wants a job—she just hasn't found one yet. But we think she's going to start looking one of these days. Read More »
1. Replace each dirty dish with one of Modern Library's "100 Best Novels."
2. Change the Wi-Fi password to a new verse of the Sermon on the Mount every day. Repeat until they have memorized it. Then move on to the Book of Job.
3. Place "Just Voted" stickers over upper left and lower third of television to obscure sports scores. Read More »
Here are three ways to get the most out of your Twitter experiences.
1. Immediately follow 10,000 people. Read More »
If the British excel at anything, its thinly veiled references to fucking. But in our defense, we had to focus our powerful, yet sensual, national energy into something other than marching into someone else's country and taking all their tea or cardamom. Especially since that kind of thing became a bit outmoded. Read More »
Attending a one-camera shoot on location somewhere between your pancreas and what's left of your dignity can present social challenges rarely encountered in the course of even the fullest life on the grandest of stages. Read More »
Your job this year is to ruin Thanksgiving for everybody. Here are three simple steps to accomplish that.
Complain about the size of the turkey, that it's either too big or too small or looks gross. Read More »
I believe there are two groups of people: those who are naturally awesome at everything they try, and those who are awesome, but struggle to achieve even a fraction of what the other lucky bastards achieve without lifting a finger. The former consists of The Most Interesting Man in the World, Ridiculously Photogenic Guy, and Morgan Freeman. The latter is the rest of us. Read More »
Thanksgiving is often the forgotten holiday. Maybe because it's sandwiched between Satan and Jesus's birthdays. Or maybe because it's on some weird Thursday that nobody knows about unless they buy a calendar or Google it. Read More »
A profile picture is your Internet face. And, just like your real face, it will be severely critiqued by every person who sees it, so it's important to get it right. Remember, even if your real face isn't great, there's no reason your Internet face can't be.
The Mirror Pic Read More »
If you enjoy having sex with girls (or "women" as the older ones like to be called), you will increase your chances of getting laid if you keep the following 10 things in mind.
1. Give her flowers. Read More »
For years, you've been boring the balls off of whoever was unlucky enough to share your table in the office cafeteria, talking about your "penchant for early Indian civilization" (is that even a thing?). Read More »
Uber provides a simple, reliable way to pay top dollar to be kidnapped by a serial rapist. Let any bloke off the street pick you up, throw you in his basement, cover your face in masking tape, and suppress your screams as he sodomizes you ad nauseam. Oh, and for the privilege of having your dignity stripped, you can count on Uber to automatically include a 20% gratuity. Read More »
Okay, so you want to write for Thought Catalog. Great! Wanting to write is half the battle! Of course, lots of things are half the battle. Not wanting to write is also half the battle. Let's not win the battle and lose the war here.
1. Embrace your relationship with lists. Read More »
Veterans Day—the day we recognize those who have faithfully served our country. And among the multitude who have proudly worn the uniform of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, or Coast Guard over the last two and a quarter centuries, I want to thank several veterans in particular who stood in defense of this nation. Read More »
Please check the appropriate box below, so that we, The United States Government, know why you chose to vote in the most recent election last Tuesday. Your answer will remain strictly confidential.* Read More »