“Do You Have Condoms?”
Did I hear her correctly? There's no way she just asked me if I have condoms on a first Tinder date, right? Could it possibly be going this well?
Tag: Stories
How to Be an Adult in Tight Jeans
My Gap skinny jeans might make me look young, but my rapidly aging prostate constantly reminds me that I’m not.
I Found Love at Darren G.’s Radioactive Wasteland, Southern New Jersey’s #4 Haunted Attraction
For me, a guy with mainstream sexual compulsions, the love of my life showed up where I least expected it: inside a rusty dumpster loaded with 1,000 gallons of syrupy green goo.
This is It, I’m Actually Going into My Crawl Space
My kids look at me and feel empathy for my plight but relief that the task is not theirs. I'm going all the way into the residential abyss.
I’ll Never Forget You or Your Wild Accusations, But I’m Still Moving Out
What juvenile fun we had competing for the same man's attention while he was my boyfriend. A game of cat and mouse indeed, as you called it.
The Dark Side of Christian Mingle
Saundra was a hot mess of whirlwind crazy. If this was God's match for me, I shuddered to think who Satan would have picked out.
How the Vikings Squandered America
Thor, Thorvald, Thorrson, Thorfinn and crew had the New World in their grasp, save for one crucial mistake.
The Real Reason Trump Won Was Because Betsy Miller Turned Me Down in the Sixth Grade, and Don’t Let Anybody Tell You Otherwise
I've cracked the case wide open. It all traces back to the 1998 Tropical Para-Dance at Windy Meadow Middle School.
So Your Professor Dreams All Came Crashing Down in One Ugly Q&A
Bruce stood on the stage of the auditorium drenched in sweat, silently waving with his fake ass smile plastered on while the crowd sat in silence horrified.
If You’ve Only Got One Arm, You’re Not Typically the Kind of Guy Who’s Gonna Be a Hollywood Actor
Bjarne says that there are so many other guys out there with two arms that it puts you at a big disadvantage if you only have one.
The Good Life with My Rich Wife
Janine, love of my life, woman of my dreams, hired a ball grabber for me. I didn't even know those women existed until I met her.
How to Import a Dagger Without Getting Arrested
It is difficult to describe the expression on a security guard’s face when you run a backpack with a 17-inch dagger through the x-ray machine.