The Seven Stages of Dealing with the Inability to Pierce a Grape Tomato with a Fork
First comes shock and denial, as it just keeps rolling around the plate, inviting a game of cat and mouse. Except here, it's not a game, it's REAL LIFE.
Tag: Mental
A Guided Meditation for Increased Self-Awareness of the Piece of Garbage You Really Are
Be aware of how your stresses don’t matter, because your job doesn’t matter, and neither do you. Let this knowledge relax you.
Isn’t It Time Somebody Wrote an UNTHINK Piece?
Many Americans are skeptical of the amount of counterthinking going into fighting the War on Thoughts. #ThoughtWar2017 is occurring on a global level.
An Open Letter to My Niece About Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived to Kill
While it may not make for polite conversation on Christmas morning, it’s important nonetheless that you understand, Harry Potter is a degenerate psychopath.
Cause Bracelets are Out of Control: Here’s How to Fix Them
There are now 18 different colored bracelets that represent 139 different problems. Even Jay-Z can't rap about that much confusion.
The Dark Side of Christian Mingle
Saundra was a hot mess of whirlwind crazy. If this was God's match for me, I shuddered to think who Satan would have picked out.
The Importance of Showers for the Adult Brain
When you take a shower, your brain releases these chemicals called "neurons" that swim around in your brain and increase thought processing.
10 Things You Need to Know Before Dating a Girl Who Relates to Every Article About What You Should Know About a Girl Before Dating Her
She is afraid of commitment, but at the same time she wants to rush things. Once things are Facebook official, it only gets crazier.
Just Because I Hallucinated While Serving You Chinese Mall Food Doesn’t Make You Better Than Me
The moment you mispronounced "Szechuan chicken," all of reality froze as if someone had hit the pause button on existence.
The Five Stages of Shitty Balinese Tattoo Grief
One short series of poor vacation decisions later, and you ended up with a new shoulder dragon friend for life.
12 Things to Assure Your Seasonal Holiday Depression Kicks In
Remember, every log you place on the fire would undoubtedly be screaming if it had a voice.
The Stages of Grief as They Apply to the Time You Microwaved Your Hot Dog for Way Too Long
So you burnt your weiner and almost burned down your kitchen. Perfect time to learn how to cope with life's tragedies.