Today’s comedy writing from our literary humor friends around the ‘net, updated hourly.
- Dutton to Take Stress Leave After Mistaking Aurora for Massive Rainbow Morning Tea
- Swipe Right on Love, Click Away from Scams
- De-Extinction Win! New Blockbuster Was Hatched In Wisconsin After Successful Breeding Program
- Those Kirkland Products You Buy At Costco — Who Really Makes Them?
- Wordle Today 1059 May 13 2024
- Six Songs We Managed To Listen To This Week Before Apple Crushed The Bands’ Instruments With A Hydraulic Press
- Local Mother’s Day Brunch Deal: Spend $300 to Get Your Mom the Drunkest She’s Ever Been
- The ‘Bachelor’ Season 37 To Cast A Bear
- Half-Witticisms of Elizabeth Emerald Volume Ninety
- What’s Missing From Most Hotels
- 5 Awesome Fashion Hacks to Tell the World “I Absorbed My Twin in the Womb!”
- Stick and Poke Artist Has Wide Range of Flash from Raccoon Saying ACAB to Pigeon Saying ACAB
- Some Recipes I Found and Also Alarming Crime in Your Area – Is This Near You? (Guest Column Sent From Your Mom’s iPad)
- Wordle Today 1058 May 12 2024
- Abiotic Factor Update Patch Notes May 10
- Inside Hollywood’s Wildest Subway Creations: The 8 Strangest Celebrity Orders from a LA Sandwich Artist
- The Holy Grail of Jell-O Fails
- You’re Welcome, Ladies Who Tennis
- My French Connection
- Ultrakill Update Patch Notes May 11
- Toronto’s expansion WNBA franchise mathematically certain to win their league championship before Leafs do
- New Pilates routine so easy you can do it in front of an open fridge while you eat peanut butter straight from the jar
- Texts Sent over Two Days from the Bellvue County History Club to Their Volunteer Writer
- First BBQ of 2024 ruined as neighbour takes thunderous shit with window open
- I’m A Mom In A Teen Rom-Com And I Have Some Questions About My Death
- Terminally ill vet gets wish to jerk it one last time in Iraq
- Deciphering Your Daughter’s “MOM” Texts mommommomMOM(Question about whether unrefrigerated leftovers are safe to...
- Being a Mother Is Easy “Despite near-constant whining about how impossible it is to be a mother, it’s really simp...
- Man who spent over a grand to see the northern lights in Iceland last month now feeling a bit silly
- President Biden Visits Seattle to Fundraise, Beat the Shit Out of Macklemore
- Oh Crap, My Mom Just Cashed In All Her Mother’s Day Coupons “I often wondered why she held on to those expertly c...
- Lists What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are Today Nirvana: You coul...
- CARTOON: Running Revelations
- Nation’s Moms So Grateful for Undercooked Eggs in Bed
- Barron Trump To Serve As Florida Delegate At RNC
- Athenian General Myronides Post Battle Press Conference After the Loss to the Spartan Army and its Peloponnesian Allies...
- ‘Damn, Remember COVID?’ Says Woman Unaware She Has It Right Now
- Woman Who Wanted to Work Out After Work Makes Critical Mistake of Sitting Down
- Man Who Can’t Stand Small Talk Thinks He Can Handle a Threesome
- When Baby Month Photos Go a Little Too Far
- Rex Murphy’s Obituary written in the style of a Rex Murphy editorial
- Favorite Son
- Our App Guarantees Your Child’s Absolute Safety And Life Success
- A New Parent’s Guide to Newborn Cries
- How to Be the Best Narcissist
- This Is Me, Your Period! Sorry To Bother You, But I Just Had To Ask
- The Wedding Countdown for the Couple You Vaguely Knew in College Starts Now
- Office psychopath organises Friday afternoon meeting on first warm weekend of the year
- 2nd Lt. who rolled dice on global politics for free education really questioning choices
- Mum of four treated for shock after she ‘completes’ laundry
- Boys Trip! This Uber Share is all dudes
- PETA Celebrates Researchers’ Decision to Replace Laboratory Mice With Grad Students
- An Interview with Marian Henley
- How to Humor: Finding the Funny in a Dry Satirical Form
- Running Out Of Ideas? Drake’s Latest Diss Track Seems To Pin The Cancellation Of ‘Freaks And Geeks’ On Kendrick Lamar
- The Drake vs. Kendrick Beef, Made More Confusing
- Your Teenage Daughter or the Worst Roommate You’ve Ever Had?
- Blueblood University’s Rousing Comeback Fueled by In-Game Transfer
- All 3 Enchanted Lands I’ve Visited By Squeezing Myself Through One Of The Holes My Stepson Punched In The Wall, Ranked
- Nepotism At Its Worst: The US Mint Just Announced A New Series Of Quarters Honoring Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen’s Fa...
- Is This Production Team Just Sloppy, or Is There an Active Shooter Outside?
- Landscaping Lunacy
- 14 Lines That Every TV Comedy Pilot Must Include
- Maligning This Celebrity’s Significant Other Online Is the Surest Way to His Heart
- We’re DINKWADs* (Dual Income No Kids With a Dog), of Course We Think We’re Better Than You
- Conversations Starters for You and Your Newborn
- Last Night I Dreamt All People Joined Hands in Peace with My Old Gym Teacher
- How My Dog Transforms Throughout the Day
- 902a4cb6f4ea3317e9552256ef0f35f6
- Government Announces $26 Billion Investment in Gas-Fired Wind Turbines
- Top 10 Apps to Use While At A Party
- The Newly Anointed Poet Laureate Of Sherman Street
- 21st Century Duels
- Everyday Self-Defense Strategies for Women
- “Seeking Goat Share” & Other Failed Personal Ads