I used to live with a roommate who never cleaned anything. Actually, I’ve lived with a lot of men AND women like this, but this particular guy still wouldn’t wash his dishes, wipe up his kitchen mess, or take out the trash… even though I’d torn my knee apart (aka: temporarily crippling myself) while wrestling.
One night, as I crutched my way to the dumpster, I saw my dirty roomie’s car and felt extra-fiendish. In my garbage bag were some of his grossly expired eggs, so I decided to throw them at his automobile. Nothing serious, I just wanted to play a joke on him. Then I quickly forgot the incident. Painkillers will do that to you.
The next day he said, “Dude, do you know what somebody did to my car?”
I hazily remembered but held back some laughs and said, “No. What?”
“Last night, some guys broke my driver’s side window, stole my stereo, fucked up my dashboard and THEN do you know what they did? They must have been pissed my stereo was so shitty, so they threw eggs at my car! What a bunch of bastards!”
Obviously, I didn’t steal my roommate’s crappy car stereo, but I will admit to egging his car. But I was really worried for about a week that the cops would dust the eggshells for fingerprints. Luckily, I was never caught. Unfortunately, the stereo thieves weren’t either.
Anywho, sorry about that insult to injury thing.