I feel like President Obama is a dad who comes home one night after a few martinis and tells the family they're getting a pool, then wakes up the next morning like, 'I said what??'
Fear not, there are ways of making your way in the post-apocalyptic free market economy. Start by burning your house down and collecting insurance.
Rehab is essentially summer camp for the broken. Your family has to drag you there, you cry the first night, and a few people get kicked out early. Oh, and arts and crafts.
I submit to you that Mel Gibson may not be as crazy as you think at first glance. Let's all take a deep breath, and really look at what was said.
The Pride Parade is a time-honored Chicago tradition wherein the collective gay community marches through Lakeview, Chicago in sequined underwear.
10am popcorn is the norm for the few and proud who call themselves movie critics, and I have recently been ordained one of them.
Lindsay Lohan hasn't been in front of a movie camera in three years. Does she really need someone to carry around her duffel bag full of Xanax?
<p>Dear Hipster,</p><p>Hey man, how's it hangin'? I saw you on the subway yesterday and after the little "show" you put on, I just wanted to touch base with you about some things you might consider working on.</p>
In the confines of that stalled Airbus A320, I realized we, as people, are nothing without our connection to one another. It defines us. It makes us alive.
I work at a restaurant from time to time waiting tables. This is what you do when you are trying to 'make it.' It’s an old cliché I feel comfortable fulfilling.
Why hello there, I'm Bill Dixon. I'm a Virgo, I enjoy long walks on the beach, and I like to start columns with cliché, one-man-show style openings.
The following are actual Facebook messages between me and my biological father, who has been absent from my life since I was about five years old.