New Blog Post Good

The English language, like all languages, leaves something to be desired. Specifically as surrounds certain vague words like good and great. Now, I'm not much for labeling or classifying things. I always thought that it was just mankind's desperate need to own everything that made us classify all the plants, animals, genres of music and well, you name it. But I have to admit that some classifications make shit easier to understand (side note: I'm sure somewhere on the big site we have a shit classification article?they're as popular among us hack writers as articles on the opposite sex and drinking).

Lots of things in this world are good. Some are very good. Sometimes things are even all good. But I don't think that's enough good.

There's just not enough good in the world.

So with that in mind, here are my new classifications for feeling good.

New socks good: when life feels like it usually does, but just a tinge better, like when you put on a pair of new socks on a regular work day?your day is just a smidge better than it should be.

New car good: when life feels like it usually does but is mildly improved by a large purchase, like a bed, a car or perhaps a big screen television.

Six beers good: good with a buzz.

New love good: when life feels as good as it usually does but there is someone or some thing in your life that has improved your mental/emotional outlook. A new girlfriend, new friend or even a new job could make you feel new love good.

Drunk good: when things are so good you just don't care.

Orgasm good: goes without saying.

Adrenalin rush good: when you feel good and alive as a result of taking a risk and succeeding (examples could include anything from standing up for a friend/female at a bar, kicking someone's ass or revenge killing a kiddie raper).

New money good: you feel good and you've won money recently.

High spirits good: you've felt the touch of God good.

Here's hoping that you've had one of these goods in your life. And if I left any out, you can add them in the comments and maybe we'll combine them all into a column so I don't have to come up with a new idea for a column. Which, incidentally, would make me feel Easy Column Good.

Your vote:

No votes yet