Points in Case > Observations like a Dead Godfather

Observations like a Dead Godfather

Posted January 1st, 2007 by Nathan DeGraaf
My old friend Brick likes to go up to people who wear their baseball caps sideways, tap them on the shoulder, then discreetly whisper, "Dude, I don't want to draw attention to it or anything, but your hat's on crooked. You may want to fix that." It's good for a laugh.

In the past week the world has lost both James Brown and Gerald Ford. If there is a heaven, and God does have a sense of humor, those two are both up there, sitting in a bar together, drinking bourbon and looking awkwardly at one another, trying to think of something to say.

For some reason, whenever I wear my black, wool overcoat, people always ask me if I'm in the military. I like to think that this is because of my amazing posture, but it probably has something to do with my hair.

Fearless Editor Court Sullivan's girlfriend was the fifth chick to tell me that my blog is not all that interesting when I don't have a girlfriend. Fortunately for me, this is nowhere near a good reason to get a girlfriend.

I often wonder which tastes better: egret or heron.

My little brother made me watch Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth." And after doing so, I must say, Al Gore is boring.

After visiting both Atlanta and St. Louis, I have developed a newfound appreciation for where I live. Say what you will about the soaring crime rates, the exhausted ecosystem and the pushy tourists, it's just great not having to wear socks. That's worth a lot to me.

I've been flying pretty regularly for almost ten years now, and I have to say that it would be pretty difficult to make the airport experience less enjoyable, yet every year, they manage to pull it off. I think that's pretty impressive.

I never have any use for whiskey unless the outside temperature is below forty degrees Fahrenheit.

All my old friends from high school are either married, engaged or tapping kids on their shoulders and reminding them that their hats are on crooked. Safe to say I'm getting old.

And finally, because logic and fluidity still haven't shaken off their hangovers, I leave you with the following, which a girl named Jenny told me fifteen minutes after meeting me:

"You're an asshole."

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16 Comments

John's picture
John (not verified) on January 1st, 2007:

Wait... is it 'fearless editor C.S.'s' girlfriend or 'fearliess editor C.S.'s girlfriend' ?

my first thought upon reading that line - i know, pretty sad. BUT the i laughed hysterically at the very next line and nearly forgot.

Tyler's picture
Tyler (not verified) on January 2nd, 2007:

"And finally, because logic and fluidity..." ... it's good to have you back man...and I know I'm not alone in saying that your blog is not in the least bit suffering because of your lack of a girlfriend...in all honesty, I think bitches make you soft...just my opinion...and yes I'm quite drunk, thanks for asking...

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified) on January 2nd, 2007:

That's cool. I hit a personal record yesterday where within five minutes of meeting something, they said, "I really hate you. What's your name?". Possibly my proudest moment.

-Juliet

Melanie's picture
Melanie (not verified) on January 2nd, 2007:

Time and time again I've seen you post the same comment so I'm compelled to ask the following: what the hell is it that you say to people that make them not only think you're an asshole but lead them to actually say it to your face? I thought you were so nice and down to earth!
It was nice meeting you & I'm glad you stopped by! Hopefully we can all get together again in April/May or else I'll just see you at the triathalon.

Nathan's picture
Nathan (not verified) on January 2nd, 2007:

Melanie, thanks for the compliment and I look forward to seeing you and your family again, as well. But there was no way I was gonna be rude in front of y'all. I mean, your brother in law and I go back pretty far.

If you met me in a bar and didn't know who I was, you'd probably think I was an asshole.

dustin's picture
dustin (not verified) on January 2nd, 2007:

you leave whiskey out of this.....
asshole.
i kid, and doot doot up there is right.
bitches make you soft.

Tyler's picture
Tyler (not verified) on January 3rd, 2007:

doot doot?...

-X-'s picture
-X- (not verified) on January 4th, 2007:

I thought it was interesting that when you wrote "egret or heron", i intially read "regret or heroin". I thought you were being deep and shit. Still.

Anonymous's picture
Anonymous (not verified) on January 8th, 2007:

Jenny - Hi Nate.... I have a 30sec sound clip of you snoring obnoxiously on Court's couch. It was um, interesting meeting you, I would love to call you an asshole (again) anytime. It's my pleasure. ;)

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