Naughty or Nice? :: Ask Nicole (College Advice)

Dear Nicole,



How does Santa deliver all those presents?



-Kalli

 

Dear Kalli,



Many people claim that it’s impossible for Santa to deliver presents to all the children of the world on Christmas Eve. But if you do the math, you’ll
realize that you’re not dealing with a basic 12-hour night. When combined across time zones, there are a total of 31 nighttime hours. Santa maximizes this
time by incorporating the theoretic principles of Total Quality Management (TQM). He also saves time by skipping the houses of naughty children. Examples include
children who:



-Wet the bed,

-Don’t speak English,

-Were responsible for their parents getting divorced,

-Can’t hold their liquor.



Sincerely,

Nicole

 
 
Dear Nicole,



What happens if you find out that your roommate is gay and get caught in a drug raid all in the same night?



-Diversecity254

 
Dear Diverse,



I suppose it means you’re an unobservant felon.



Sincerely,

Nicole

 

Next question below ad

Dear Nicole,



Hi I'm 16 and me and my boyfriend have been going out almost two years and he has asked me to marry him and I said yes but will it really work or is it just puppy
love at this age?



-VolleyballChick

 
Dear Chick,



It could possibly happen, it’s certainly not unheard of. However,
many things can come up between now and then. Going away to college, being indicted for manslaughter, or falling into a sinkhole are just a few of the potential
deal breakers that can cause a couple to drift apart. And of course there’s always the possibility that, due to a paperwork error, you’re mistakenly
drafted into the French Foreign Legion as a guerilla mercenary. Trust me, I learned the hard way. Of course, it’s hard to get motivated to fight for a
country whose national animal is the weasel (commonly portrayed waving a white flag), but at least you won’t have to contend with morons who insist on using
the term “Freedom Fries.”



Sincerely,

Nicole

 
Dear Nicole,



Do nice guys finish last? Explain.



-Nice Guy

 
Dear Guy,



They finish last because they last longer. That’s what makes
them so nice.



Sincerely,

Nicole