Going Into the Closet :: Ask Nicole (College Advice)

Dear Nicole,



I think I might be heterosexual...what should I do? Will my parents still love me?



-Jonesy

 

Dear Jonesy,



First and foremost, you need to be yourself. If you choose to tell your
family, it may shock them. They expected you to grow up, meet a nice guy, get married in a mass-commitment ceremony during the Gay Pride parade, and settle down in a fashionable East Village loft.
When you break it to them that you are sexually attracted to women, and that you hope to get married and one day give them grandchildren, well...it’s going
to take some adjustment on their part. Be patient, and remember: If worst comes to worst, there's always suicide.



Sincerely,

Nicole

 
 
Dear Nicole,



I Really Like This girl And Even Tho we're Talking she is Seeing it More as a Friendship As Friends I Just feel So Lost without her I Care About her And if I'm not
made for her why does my heart Say I Am?



-ConAir

 
Dear Con,



Because you're 13 and listen to too much Creed. Like the rest of us, you'll soon learn that your heart is a dirty, filthy liar. I keep mine around primarily for
blood-pumping purposes. Otherwise I'd sell it on eBay, along with a few of my other organs that can't be trusted.



Sincerely,

Nicole

 

Next question below ad

Dear Nicole,



I want to have sex with my girlfriend, how do I go about
it.



-lottagame23
Dear Lotta,



Uh...well...there comes a time in every boy's life when..... Oh, to hell with this.



Sincerely,

Nicole

 
 
Dear Nicole,



My boyfriend's mom keeps hinting at marriage and kids. I'm polite about it, but how do I explain to her that I don't want kids ever and besides, we're only
seventeen.



-Karen

 
Dear Karen,



I'm tired of these mothers who think they have dibs on your womb because
you're dating their son. I'm not going through pregnancy, labor, and 18 years of diapers, juice stains, and wrecked cars just so grandma-in-law can have cute
wallet photos to show her Bingo buddies.



If she hints at kids again, just say, "Sure, I'd love to have a baby! Come on honey, let's get started." Then grab your boyfriend's hand and head toward the
bedroom. I doubt she'll bring it up again.



Sincerely,

Nicole