Welcome to Subway, I’ll Be Your Sandwich Artist Today
I require 10 minutes of uninterrupted eye contact so I can absorb your aura and determine what kind of personalized sandwich art to create for you.
Tag: Satire
Shopping for Father’s Day When You’re His Secret Family
What do you get a man who already has everything, including three other children who live in a nice neighborhood and are allowed to use his last name?
Emergency Exit Locked—Would You Like to Start a Free Trial?
We noticed you’re attempting to exit the burning building. Nice choice! Unfortunately, emergency exits are not included in your current plan.
Your Dad Designs a Clinical Trial to Test the Claim “A Little Dirt Never Hurt Anyone”
Based on my literature review of opening my eyes in public, everyone is afraid to get some mud under their fingernails and quality of life is one foot in the junkyard.
You’ve Subscribed to My Domstack
Substack might have more than 35 million active submissives on their platform, but we do things a little differently around here.
Things I Learned About Phishing from My Dad Last Weekend
It’s better to start with the minnows and then move on to the whales. Tricking an employee to divulge secrets is easier than tricking the CEO.
At WikiFeet, We Reject Phony AI Toes
The administrators of wikiFeet, a group of men who refer to ourselves as the “Dukes of wikiFeet,” pledge to stomp out any generative little piggies whenever they appear.
Ashley, Customer Success Coordinator, Will You Be My Work Wife?
Ashley, when I work with you, I feel like I’m on a never-ending Personal Improvement Plan.
An Apology to My Local Barista After Asking to Substitute Oat Milk in My Honeysuckle-Boysenberry Latte
I now know that when you pulled that shot, you were thinking about the mouthfeel and terroir of my coffee experience.
Feminist Neanderthal Manifesto
We will not allow the men to firelight us into believing we are too emotional when our toddlers leave on their first hunts.
There’s Never Been a Worse Time to Be Alive (And Hosting a Suits Rewatch Podcast)
I just can't imagine my grandfather, or his grandfather, facing this kind of uphill battle when starting their Suits rewatch podcasts.
A Brief Footnote to the “No Gifts” Policy for Our Child’s Party
No need to buy anything for Brayden. You certainly don't know Brayden well enough to know that he's longing for a Mandalorian LEGO set.