Many Aquatic Animals Will Perform for Your Pleasure

<p class="MsoNormal">When you visit our aquarium, you will enter through a revolving door.<span>  </span>Inside, you will be impressed by the site of many aquatic creatures which have been practicing their routines for months, specifically in order to impress you.<span>  </span></p>

• by Joshua Bartel
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• June 25, 2008
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• 23

I Would Have Killed Myself Already, Except I’m Too Good-Looking

<p style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; min-height: 14px; margin: 0px">Considering how boring it is to go to the clubs at night, do a bunch of coke, and go home with a beautiful woman who insists on performing fellatio repeatedly, I would like to take my own life.  But there's just one problem: I'm way too handsome.</p>

• by Joshua Bartel
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• June 23, 2008
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• 13