The Mayor of New York City Should Be an Actual Train
Whereas politicians say lies, trains say only “choo-choo” and “chuga-chuga” and “stand clear of the closing doors, please.”
Tag: Satire
I Starred as “Greg” in a Corporate Sexual Harassment Training Video and It Ruined My Life
For approximately 134,000 of my New Brunswick neighbors and others across the globe, I became the face of workplace sexual harassment.
Two Sports-Talkers Talking Sports Talk
HELLOOOOO! Hope you brought the peanut butter, because that my friend was a mouthwatering jam!
My Girlfriend Tries to Break Up With Me, a One-Off Character Who Needs to Quickly Deliver a Lot of Exposition
"Is this because you just lost your job? We’ve been through this, you’re an excellent reporter and they had no right to fire you! You won a Pulitzer!"
Master Template for Every Championship Sports Interview Ever Given
"I set a goal [NUMBER OF YEARS THE TEAM HAS BEEN TERRIBLE] ago and I was determined to give it [CLICHÉ FROM MOTIVATIONAL KITTEN CALENDAR]."
“Excuse Me, Can Any Fellow Emails in This Spam Folder Direct Me to the Inbox, Please?”
“Am I in the spam folder? I gotta get out of here.” “WARNING: YOUR HOUSE IS INFESTED WITH HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA.”
Is Pete Buttigieg Gay Enough? If He Can Answer These Questions, He Just Might Be
Question 3. Do you understand the innate joke that lies in calling your supporters the Pete Fleet and are you willing and able to joke about it?
Why Nope to Me Being Pope?
Despite the obstacles--not learning Latin, being married, wearing a sombrero with “I'm the POPE!” in neon letters--in my heart I didn't lose.
I Tried Cryotherapy and Now I’m a Stone Cold Bitch
Bonjour, Karen who sits next to me at work. I know how much you judge me for eating peanut butter out of the jar with a fork during lunch.
Goodbye to “All That”: By Kenan Thompson in 2001
Someone once said that "All That" is for the very young and the same people when they’re 28 and nostalgic. For me, "All That" is a moment in time.
The Galactic Empire Could Benefit From Some Cultural Sensitivity Training
I’m an Ewok, you idiot. Not a Wookiee. Do all intelligent, bipedal, brown, hairy non-humans look the same to you?
Optimize Your Originality by Copying Famous Creatives’ Daily Habits
Immanuel Kant (1724-1804): Awoken by spousal uppercut at 6:30, the philosopher began an impressive washing regimen; Kant felt his mind was sharpened by pouring pitchers of cold water over himself.