Are you afraid that some sort of natural disaster will happen if you can’t always see which slide is on deck? What IS IT exactly that you have against presentation mode?
Tag: Open Letters
By now you should know all 26 letters of the alphabet, some of which conjure up images of hot women. Consider these eight letters, and their relationship to women.
You filmmakers always say the same thing: "Make your own film if you're such an expert!" Well guess what, I don't NEED to. I have snark and a cultural studies degree.
I could have easily crushed you. At no time did you outwit me or save yourself. If I wanted to I could have passed you by and let nature take its course, but I didn’t.
It's not that I don't feel valued here, it's just that I want my value to be more externally expressed. I feel this place has gotten more life-affirming over the years.
When I spied your "Frederick Asmus" nametag I nearly dropped my Auntie Anne's Roasted Garlic & Parmesan pretzel out of joy. I knew you would want to hear my story.
I want you to feel me in every inch of your body until you lose all sense of logic, and the usual minutiae of lazy Sundays goes out the window.
Listen Admiral Ackbar, we all agree you're doing a super job as admiral, but we'd appreciate it if you could stop yelling "It's a trap!" for the rest of the hunting trip.
We all know that the DVD copy of Animal House that you brought to college was given to you as a present by your younger sister the day before you left.
I’m here because I also have a relationship with the public, outside of Bill Cosby the human, and I have to ask you all one question: We're still cool, right?
Thanks to customers like you, we are proving that there is no point in using your hand when you can put your dick directly into a silicone tube.
Remember me? I don't want to brag, but you checked out my OkCupid profile every day for months before finally messaging me with "wink…wink… what’s your bra size."