How I Finally Pooped on the Bird That Pooped on Me
I'm a man who took more than half a month tracking down a bird with nothing but the shirt on his back and an $800 bird costume. A proud man.
Tag: Life
Winter Solstice Blues: How a Broken Bedroom Window Blind Became My Unwanted Alarm Clock
My darkened bedroom alights like a hidden Celtic burial chamber on the first morning of winter, my bed an altar as sleep once again is sacrificed.
I’m an Introvert, Which I’ll Now Talk About for Three Hours
No one truly understands the introvert. That needs to change, and that change will begin with an uninvited three-hour conversation.
EPIC FAIL! This Nobel Laureate Doesn’t Know How to Operate an Industrial-Grade Thresher
OMG! This award-winning humanitarian and advocate for oppressed peoples doesn't know how to operate decades-old agricultural equipment.
9 Christmas Movies for the Whole Family (Updated to Reflect the Latest Hollywood Scandals)
Check out these classic movies to watch with your family this Christmas! (Unfortunately, recent Hollywood scandals have forced us to update this list.)
4 Reasons You Will Fall Asleep During Sex in Your 20’s
Rejecting the opportunity to Google duck penises all night on the internet just to have sex with someone is a slap in the face to Bill Gates.
10 Time-Saving Beauty Tips From a New Mom
Get ready to flip that Jean Nate-age, time-consuming beauty philosophy into a beauty routine that fits into the 30 seconds you have to pee.
How to Survive a Midlife Crisis
Are you having a midlife crisis? If so, just relax, take a deep breath, and use this list of positive strategies to help you get through it.
Why is My Watershed Not Having a Watershed Moment?
Powerful men are being held accountable for their despicable actions in watershed moments, but are we forgetting about true watersheds?
I Feel Like I Didn’t Really Take Advantage of Tom Petty as Much as I Should Have While He Was Still Alive
Here we are, only weeks into the part of my life when I remembered who Tom Petty was, and he was taken from me. Or should I say, that I was taken from him.
How to Network (With Your Parents) in Hollywood
With famous parents, you have the advantage of not needing to beat around the bush and pretend to be considerate of their feelings; you can just ask them for a job!
Why I Love “The Handmaid’s Tale”: A Review by Michelle Duggar
I thought I was good at dressing my body like a burlap sack of potatoes, but I have been outdone! Women are all just floating heads with robot arms.