<p><img src="/files/u46/ladies_what_you_missed_out_on.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="300" /> </p><p>Hey ladies of the world (and <a href="/columns/casey-freeman/embrace-your-girlfriends-gay-bff" target="_blank">gay dudes</a> just waiting to change me). It's me. You're dreamboat. Good old KC. </p>
<p><img src="/files/u46/kc_dream_rebel.jpg" alt="General KC Freeman" width="400" height="533" /><br /><em>(A Southern Gentleman goes to war...)</em> </p>
<p>I rarely check the banner ads on facebook. I just don't want to join other social networks, enlarge my penis or list every single comic book that I own. However, it is amazing how they use info from your FB profile to find (in)appropriate ads for you.</p><p>Lately, I've been seeing this banner ad with the headline: "Meet Singles In Your Area."</p>
<p>On any given drinking day with me, I'll dare friends to shotgun beers with me, talk to attractive chicks or play games of Super Danger Darts. How do you play Super Double D? Put your hands around the bullseye and trust that your friends don't hit you with sharp pointy projectiles. <em>Here's a photo:</em> </p>
<p><img src="/files/u46/kc_paddy_1.jpg" width="400" height="300" /></p>
<p><img src="/files/u46/dumb.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="278" /> </p>
<p><img src="/files/u46/net_0.jpg" alt="I heart Netflix" width="400" height="300" /></p><p>Dear Netflix,</p><p>I adore your service. Because of you, all I need to do for entertainment is walk to the mailbox and update my Queue—which I do more than I check my Facebook profile. But I've found a way to make Netflix even better.</p><p>Send porn randomly.</p>
<p><img src="/files/u46/weed_socks.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="278" /> </p><p>The reason why my socks smell like weed and my weed smells like laundry detergent is...</p><p>I keep my weed in my sock drawer. I know. Surprising. Get over it. </p>
<p>Nothing warms my adamantium heart like a douchebag getting what he deserves. And this, my gentle readers, is one of those times. </p>
<p><img src="/files/u46/steve_brule.jpg" width="400" height="261" /> <em>"Wine was invented by the Romans. For orgies. And orgies are no fun when no-one wants to do with you."</em> -Dr. Steve Brule "For Your Health"</p>
<p>Living with dudes is cool. You're bros. You share beer, toothbrushes, and the four dishes, two spoons and eight forks. But dudes also take big smelly craps and steal the treat whiskey you've stashed in your sock drawer.</p><p>Now, I'm living with one of my best friend's girlfriends. This is about the third time I've lived with one of my buddies' ladies.</p>
<p> <img src="/files/u46/t2_kc.jpg" alt="" width="397" height="461" /></p><p><em><strong>(My usual Valentine's Day gets a kiss from yours truly)</strong></em> </p>