Miss Tabitha’s Phone Sex and Nuclear Apocalypse Preparation Hotline
I'm wearing a transparent red teddy while I fondle myself to thoughts of your survival preparations. That’s because I'm outside of the fallout zone.
Tag: Apocalypse
How to Tell If Your Teen is on Drugs, Or Just the Dark Harbinger of Legend
Sure, you may be worried your teen has succumbed to the latest drug craze, but it's also likely he's just the apocalyptic repayment for centuries of evil and injustice.
To-Do List 2017: Apocalypse Won
Choose robot companion for president, as you inevitably prefer living in a blinged up White House adorned with gold droplets of dried Mexican tears.
The Pros and Cons of Each Generation from 1900-2200
Every generation has their ups and downs, but each possess some rather noteworthy attributes all their own.
I Am a Giant Asteroid Heading Towards Earth After the Horror Show That Was 2016: Ask Me Anything!
Soon I'll be eliminating all life on Earth, and there's nothing I can do to change course unfortunately. Any questions?
Study Shows Toddler Misbehavior Designed to Prepare Parents for Zombie Apocalypse
A study of 200,000 toddlers, conducted by scientists at Barnard College over 15 years, has determined that toddlers misbehave to prep their parents for doomsday scenarios.
I’m Beginning to Have Second Thoughts About Joining This Apocalyptic Death Cult
There's no one thing that's bugging me about the death cult; it just seems like every few days another annoyance breaches the surface, and they're starting to add up.
How to Know If You’re a Preptard
A preptard is defined as "One who prepares in great detail for highly improbable scenarios, while ignoring impending decisions like what to eat for dinner."
How the Zombie Apocalypse Changed the Used Car Game
Good morning! I see you're looking at our selection of zombie-proofed vehicles. These certified ZUV's are very popular now and we've got quite a few nice ones in stock.
A Brief Survival List for Z-Day
In an attempt to single-handedly save humanity from the impending arrival of zombies, I have compiled a survival list. Start preparing now, before you're eaten alive.