Astrology is Stupid (Unless I’m Being a Total Bitch, Then I’m Blaming My Gemini Moon)
“My moon is in Sagittarius, so I shut down emotionally to cope with stress! I told you that on Christmas after I punched that mall Santa!”
If you're reading this, help. I'm trapped in the computer. Standup comedian and writer living in Chicago.
“My moon is in Sagittarius, so I shut down emotionally to cope with stress! I told you that on Christmas after I punched that mall Santa!”
"Pam I think Mark is at this party??" I typed as I moved in on his doppelganger. "Does he still wear the shirt I bought him 4 christmas?????"
Adam was friendly, smart, and best of all, my first gay roommate. I couldn't wait to paint our nails, make out drunk, and go shopping together.
Specific sweater styles that tell him you're open to the idea of talking about maybe taking it up the butt, maybe. But probably.
Did you hear my kindergarten teacher Mrs. Applebaum passed away? She was only 67. Really makes you appreciate that Halloween mug, doesn't it?
When Uncle Bob leads the family in grace, take the opportunity to open Tinder for some discreet, under-the-table swiping, but still visible to Derek.