Matthew Thiele | Points in Case

Matthew Thiele Glenville

Matthew Thiele is a proud teacher, husband, and father. You can read his humor writing, advice, and academic research in various fine publications.

Comedy Writing

Sorry Friend, This Here’s One of Them Non-Negotiable Contracts

The truth is that we have something you want, and you probably don’t have much choice.

by Matthew Thiele
|
November 26, 2022

We Are Discontinuing Your Favorite Underwear

But our new line of Terra® products is now made of cost-saving, eco-friendly burlap, with ties and closures of jute twine!

by Matthew Thiele
|
December 7, 2021

Welcome to Your New Dorm, Deathtrap Hall

The mattresses, made of an experimental polymer developed by accident in our Food Science Lab, are virtually indestructible.

by Matthew Thiele
|
November 15, 2021

New Classes for College Coaches Who Also Teach Classes

by Matthew Thiele | August 24, 2022 | Slackjaw

Learning To Sing “Werewolves of London” While Playing What You Thought Was One Of The Easiest Riffs In Rock ’n’ Roll

by Matthew Thiele | May 19, 2022 | The Haven

16 Clues Your School Has Been Infiltrated by White Supremacists

by Matthew Thiele | February 20, 2022 | The Haven

If You Risk Illness and Death for One Thing This February, Let It Be Trolls LIVE!

by Matthew Thiele | January 30, 2022 | MuddyUm

We Can’t Run This College Into the Ground without Your Help

by Matthew Thiele | January 21, 2022 | McSweeney's Internet Tendency

Confederate Medicinal Urine Cocktails Are Going Mainstream

by Matthew Thiele | January 18, 2022 | The Haven

Knife Fight at the Bird Feeder

by Matthew Thiele | January 12, 2022 | MuddyUm

Amazing Confederate Dildo Treasure Found in Georgia Hidey-Hole

by Matthew Thiele | January 4, 2022 | The Haven

Buried Treasure Discovered Near Confederate Monuments

by Matthew Thiele | December 30, 2021 | The Haven

Student Mastermind Humiliates Witless English Professor

by Matthew Thiele | December 1, 2021 | MuddyUm

Should I Shave My Head to Show off My Skull Tattoo?

by Matthew Thiele | November 16, 2021 | MuddyUm

Why Didn’t You Tell Us Godzilla Was Attacking the City?!

by Matthew Thiele | November 13, 2021 | Slackjaw

6 Incredible Secrets for Balancing Grad School With a Full-Time Job

by Matthew Thiele | November 9, 2021 | MuddyUm

How to Hide Homelessness From Your Sensitive Child

by Matthew Thiele | November 1, 2021 | The Haven

2021 College Week of Shameless Begging Begins Today!

by Matthew Thiele | October 23, 2021 | The Haven

11 Small Things You Can Do Every Day to Ruin It for All of Us

by Matthew Thiele | October 1, 2021 | The Haven

Please Stop Bringing Morale Down By Talking About How Low Morale Is

by Matthew Thiele | September 30, 2021 | Slackjaw

We Need To Add Some Classes To Your Fall Teaching Schedule

by Matthew Thiele | August 25, 2021 | Slackjaw

Congratulations to Ourselves on Defeating the Pandemic from the College’s Associate Vice President of Self-Congratulation

by Matthew Thiele | November 23, 2020 | McSweeney's Internet Tendency