"You are tearing our family apart." / "Your dog just threw up on my new shoes." / "Can you pick me up a pregnancy test when you’re out?"
Leah Jereb is a writer and content strategist living in a city somewhere. She enjoys using her high-powered blender to make smoothies. Leah is also published on McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, The Belladonna Comedy, and Slackjaw. You can follow her musings @ljsayshey.