I apologize, she giggles and our shared weakness for Snickerdoodles suggests we will fall madly in love by Christmas. Her name is Lacey Sherbert.
A lactose intolerant man who keeps a flask of whole milk in the glove compartment of his 1985 Buick Sklyark, Fredrick lives life dangerously. Born to recluse nomads in the foothills of the Sawtooth Mountains, at the age of 2, Fredrick was nearly pecked to death by a Black Throated Loon who had mistaken the small boy for a discarded sweet potato. After a lengthy recovery, Fredrick became the youngest member of the Navy Seals, a group of free-spirited aquanauts in blue bodysuits who swam the murky waters of Lake Ingeboard in search of raw sapphire. In his teenage years, Fredrick studied hand-to-hand combat under the tutelage of an armless alligator wrestler while living on a commune in the heart of Oklahoma’s tornado alley. These days, Fredrick has turned his sights to charity work as the founder of a non-profit called “Cock Block” (Bloque Del La Pollo) which lobbies the Chilean government to ban cock fighting. Rooster deaths are down 57% as a result of his efforts.