First, the brief word:
Louisville: You're going down tonight, bitches.
Okay…on with the rest….
This semester, I'm in a fiction/creative writing class and today, we were asked to do a pretty interesting class assignment that had us write a story about preparing for a date. However, there was a twist…we had to write as if the voice was the opposite gender going out with us. That is, being as I'm Nick Gaudio, I would write as a girl who would date Nick Gaudio. We had 5 minutes to write it and then read it to the class.
Here's what I came up with…
8:00 Pickup or “Why Women are Always Late”
7:14. Okay, he'll be here at 8:00. That gives me thirty-six minutes to get ready. No, wait. Forty-six. No. Twenty-six. Forty-six? Thirty-eight? Okay. 8:00 minus 7:14… Zero minus four is negative four. Zero minus one is negative one. Eight minus seven is…two? No. Where's my calculator? There. Okay. One. So that gives me one hour and negative forty-one minutes. That doesn't seem right. Oh, that's because two negatives make a positive! Duh! So I have an hour and forty-one minutes until he gets here! That's plenty of time to get ready and not keep him waiting! And I certainly don't want to keep him waiting. It's not every day you get to date Nick Gaudio: Poet Extraordinaire.
Which reminds me, do I have a Magnum condom?