I don't know how many times I have heard a platonic female friend say how hard it is to attract a good man out there, but let's just say it's enough to make my ears bleed more than once a month. What this means, other than the fact that I buy more Tampax than they do now, is that single women are concerned that their dating pool is dwindling, especially as they get older. Read More »

« Back to Top Ten Places Sex is Overrated, Part 1

5. While Driving

The movie The Chase comes to mind whenever I think of anyone having sex AND driving. There go Charlie Sheen and Kristy Swanson barreling down the road being chased by every cop in the world it seems and they simply have no other place to do it than right there in the car going a hundred miles an hour. Read More »

We've all seen it in the movies. We've all fantasized about it. Hell, some of us have even gone out and tried it for ourselves. I'm talking about that super sultry place to have sex, that in your mind seems sizzling and amazing, but in reality, because of logistics, is not all you built it up to be. Read More »

We've all been there. We've all experienced it. If you claim you haven't then you're the douchebag friend/co-worker this article is about. I'm referring to the "deer in the headlights" dance everyone does at the end of a group dinner when splitting the check. Read More »

Is it wrong to want to smash a coffee mug into some woman's wrist if it's for her own good? Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself here. I should provide you with the back story first and then ask you the question. Read More »

I'm officially holding interviews for a personal penguin. Your job would basically be to dress up as a penguin and follow me around to parties, restaurants, and social gatherings. You would have to waddle slightly and occasionally make a penguin noise, whatever the hell that actually is (finding out what noise a penguin makes is part of getting the job). Read More »

I was dreamin' when I wrote this
Forgive me if it goes astray

But when I woke up this mornin'
Coulda sworn it was judgment day. Read More »

Most of you don't know this about me, but I started college with the intent of becoming a forensic pathologist. This probably says something about my inability to deal with actual living people...I know, a real shocker, right? Read More »

Caitlyn: I'm wearing a skort today and you know what is odd?
Andrei: Most men hate skorts!
Caitlyn: Yes well, I'm much more comfortable in a skort, to protect me from them there men.
Andrei: So what is odd?
Caitlyn: A tattoo is showing that no one ever sees. Read More »

Okay I'm just going to say this... I know every one is thinking it secretly anyway, but I can't take it any longer: the fire department is blatantly fucking with the general public for their own sick, twisted personal amusement. Read More »

As a dyslexic person, I spell atrociously, so without spell check on programs, I would probably be unintelligible to the world. However, I have recently realized that over time spell check is slowly working against me, even mocking me! Read More »

I try to be as open-minded as possible and fight all the stereotypes that arise in our culture, but there is one stereotype that I can't seem to shake: Women may have been right about us all along—men REALLY ARE stupid. Read More »

I have to clear a few things up about cell phone usage with you people. And don't give me that look, because yes, I know this has been written about a million times already, but I have my own way of doing things. From the tweenie flash texter to the geriatric technology handicapped, I have to say that a large majority of you are nothing less then highly irritating with your cell phones. Read More »

Technology is growing so rapidly that it's becoming increasingly difficult to imagine a world without half of the things that have been developed in the last ten years. Our technological gap used to be generational, yet lately it seems that gap has been reduced to the blink of an eye. Read More »

Occasionally, mundane things happen that captivate our gecko-like attention for what seems like an eternity in this fast-paced society, and we then overlook other news stories altogether. Read More »

Is it just me or has everyone seemingly lost their minds when it comes to celebrities? Remember when celebrities were acknowledged for their merit in the arts, or how hard they worked and thus how successful they were? We appreciated what they did and thus celebrated their achievements. Merriam-Webster even defines celebrity as "a celebrated person." Read More »

No, I don't mean cancer survivors, survivors of some natural disaster, or survivors of some traumatic incident, I mean all people who have been on or are going to be on the reality TV show Survivor. There are a few things I need to get off my chest which have been a long time coming so listen up, because this article may just win you a million dollars someday. Read More »

Social networking sites give people a sense of belonging and not being alone in the world. Yet this belonging is a facade and in real life (the one not mediated by a computer) is deteriorating human interactions. People are losing the ability to carry on a conversation despite the fact that they have more access to information about their "friends" than they've ever had before. Read More »

Has anyone noticed that to like something these days is to instantly doom it to the realm of discontinued and thus endlessly search for an appropriate replacement? Read More »

If there is ever a zombie attack I think the staging ground or headquarters will be at a Home Depot.

Five years ago I could walk into a Home Depot without a clue where anything was or even how to install it, and there would be a handy, knowledgeable staff member to not only point me in the right direction but suggest what else I might need or perhaps what the best way to install something would be. Read More »

Recently I noticed that Starbucks discontinued their almond syrup but kept a surreal flavor called "Classic" readily available. I complained about them ceasing to serve breakfast sandwiches but keeping their store well stocked with copies of Cranium and baskets of stuffed bears. Read More »

We've all been told throughout our lives that volunteer work is extremely rewarding. A lot of people I know volunteer for small non-profits, local hospitals, nursing homes, and environmental agencies—and if I wasn't already spending numerous hours every month doing my other volunteer work, maybe I could pursue one of those opportunities too... but honestly, who has time for that? Read More »