Home > Writers > Court Sullivan

Court Sullivan

School

Emory University

Class of

2003

Hometown

Huntsville, AL

At a Glance

I am easily excited by spontaneous things, amusing people, random moments, and minor observations. I'm also the founder and editor of PIC, which manages to incorporate all of those things. Email me at court@pointsincase.com

Bio

People often ask me if I would ever go skydiving. I tell them no. Then they ask if I would go bungee jumping and I say yes. Why? Bungee jumping: You're alive unless something goes wrong. Skydiving: You're dying until something goes right. It's not the only theory I've developed, but it's probably the most concise. And with all the ADD in the world today, short, sweet and to the point is sometimes all you can afford.

Column




A compilation of the oddest and most intriguing aspects of college life. The original college humor column that started the website in 1999.

College Relationships, Multiple Choice, and Senior Status

Why are college relationships so unique? Because nobody complains about playing “easy to get” and “hooking up” sounds innocent enough to keep girls from feeling guilty.
Apr 30, 2007
Dorm Showers, Robotic Professors, and Drunken Caretaking

Dorm showering is strange. Never again will you have to shower naked wearing cheap sandals while talking to six of your friends doing the same thing a half-wall away.
Mar 30, 2006
Dishwashing, Call Waiting, and Bandwagon Hating

I don't understand these people who claim to not be able to use a dishwasher. There is nothing to KNOW, unless you have trouble pouring detergent or pressing "start" buttons.
Apr 30, 2005
Bombed Tests, Fake Semi-Friends and Campus Hotties

Have you ever bombed a test so badly that you're actually done taking it before the rest of the class? I never know what to do so I wait for three people to turn in ahead of me.
Mar 30, 2004
Wounded Soldiers, Alleged Philanthropy, and The Look

Every morning after a party, I wander around the room hungover, clearing away just enough trash to live above the poverty line for the rest of the weekend.
Jan 30, 2003
Delinquent Interns, Drunken Reminder Tags, and Hooking Up

I had another internship this summer and boy what a thrill! Nothing beats waiting for a career breakthrough by talking on instant messenger all day.
Sep 30, 2002
Ride Scavengers, Airplane Drunks, and Moving Out

Nothing will stop me from getting in my car every morning and attempting to drive closer to class, even though I know our campus is designed to be a "walking campus."
May 30, 2002
Awkward College Situations

Have you ever met someone from class and become pretty good "campus friends" only to find out like 3 months later that neither of you knows the other person’s name?
Mar 30, 2002
Jammed Copiers, Gloved Exams, and Mailbox Condoms

Did you know that if you actually READ the error message on a copier, you can usually fix the problem in about 30 seconds?
Dec 30, 2001
Summer Internship: Behind the Scenes

Most of my co-workers complain during the day about being tired of doing so much work. As an intern, the only thing I got tired of was appearing to be busy.
Oct 31, 2001
Junior Year:  More College Perspectives

Remember freshman year when you had no idea WHAT you would need when you got to college? Now I'm a junior and know exactly what I need, but I'm too lazy to pack it all.
Oct 30, 2001
Stressed Out Whiners, Short-term Learners, and Ballpoint Stirrers

Most people end up getting sick at some point from being "too stressed out" during finals. I'm going to vomit on the next person who thinks I should pity them for this.
May 30, 2001
Spring Break, Your Refrigerator, and Procrastinology

When someone tells you their spring break was "pretty relaxing," this translates to "I went home and I was fucking bored out of my mind."
Apr 30, 2001
Second Semester: Balancing the Equilibrium

Have you ever noticed how everyone gets sick when they come back for second semester? This has everything to do with the disruption of the alcoholic equilibrium.
Mar 2, 2001
How to Avoid Your Professor and Fake ID's

Do you have friends who use someone’s old driver’s license as a fake ID? My friends are like, "Check it out, it looks just like me!" and I'm like, "That looks nothing like you."
Dec 30, 2000
Printer Assholes, Cell Phones and Medicinal Alcohol

Everyone WITH a printer has at least one "printing asshole." These are the people who always drain your paper supply every time they feel like printing something out.
Sep 30, 2000
Puke-Protectors, Dorm Rooms and Finals

The only good thing about having a week's worth of newspaper scattered all over the floor is that it serves as a good "puke-protector" by the time the weekend comes.
May 30, 2000
Foreign Professors and Alcoholic Mishap

Is there some kind of requirement that English has to be your second language to teach math in college? I guess they figure that math is some kind of universal language.
Mar 30, 2000
Millennium Edition: 2000 Beers and The College Alarm Clock

They've taken this whole celebrate-the-year-2000 thing way too far. Yesterday, I saw a gallon of milk that said "commemorating the millennium" on it.
Jan 30, 2000
Liquor Galleries and Urine vs. Thirst

I was always told that you can't be thirsty and need to piss at the same time. If this is true, all rules are off the morning after a hard night of drinking.
Dec 30, 1999
Printing Paper, Recycling Chaos and the Dawn of Time

You know those little things that you kinda wonder about in the back of your head, but think are too "insignificant" to waste any time thinking about? I'm writing about 'em.
Oct 30, 1999
Points in Case - College Humor

A compilation of the oddest and most intriguing aspects of college life. An original college humor column started in 1999 with a website spinoff.
Sep 30, 1999

Blog




Hi, I'm Court Sullivan, editor of Points in Case, and you're reading comedy and behind the scenes! Join me as I drag you willingly through pop culture, funny stories, internet talk, puns, and irony.

RSVP "No" from an 18th Century Stalker 5/22/13
Undecidedly Middle Class 10/12/12
Eschewing the Tip Drill 5/25/12
Real Chat w/Julian Asange: Dubstep and Jizz 3/27/12
Heather Linn's Juicy Yearbook Secrets 3/11/12
Iran to US: "I Drone, On and On and On" 12/13/11
My Last 20 Text Messages 12/7/11
My First Time Buying Alcohol for High Schoolers 12/2/11
Brushing Up on Relationships 11/6/11
Boner Costumes: The Abbreviated Version 10/27/11
It's the Little Things That Say "I Stalk You" 8/23/11
Guys, Get Your Shorts Game Up 5/24/11
U.S. Begins Hunt for Twin Towers Following bin Laden Death 5/2/11
Prebirthers Demand to See Obama's Parent's Sex Tape 4/28/11
The Party Tow Truck 4/20/11
Like a G6 (Pilot Pen Remix) 3/28/11
Keyword Activity: Can You Get Sick from Kissing a Black Person? 2/28/11
So Relaxed, Must Read Digitally 2/23/11
Potential Observations on Dandruff, Penguins and Email 11/9/10
Chile, We Have a Miner Problem 10/13/10
The World's Most Confusing Email Addresses to Tell Someone Over the Phone 10/6/10
I Probably Shouldn't Ask This But... (Part 2) 8/27/10
Sumo Rivalry 8/20/10
Why I'll Never Shop at Express Again 7/15/10
From Now On, I Will Calculate My Utility Bill Myself 7/1/10
Starbucks All-You-Can-Eat Wi-Fi Porn Buffet 6/15/10
Everything But the Bare Essentials 3/3/10
An In-Depth Analysis of the Recovery of a Deep Memory 2/5/10
The Bros Show 1/26/10
Staples: That was Hard 12/29/09
An Open and Disconnected Letter from Mark Otherberg 12/15/09
Facebook: Open and Shut 10/14/09
We're All Dying a Slow, Electronic Death 9/14/09
Omegle Chat: A Symbol of the Times 7/6/09
Michael Jackson All Day 7/2/09
Where I Was When Michael Jackson Died 6/26/09
Planning to Party Like It's 1999 5/21/09
Sub-Headline News: Sideways Tornadoes! 5/6/09
Surprise, Your Confirmation Number is 696969! 4/21/09
The Only Letter I've Ever Received from an Inmate 4/8/09
You've Got the Whole World Behind You, Baby 3/24/09
Shut Up and Do Your Job 2/28/09
Top Secret Blog (For Your Eyes Only) 2/24/09
How to Find Out How Rich Your Friends Are 2/20/09
Facebook Moochers Get $65 Million, I Got Next 2/12/09
How to Be the Creepiest Friend Ever on Facebook 2/4/09
You Can Have These COLLEGE (Unrated) DVDs 2/3/09
Unauthorized to Memorize 2/2/09
The Real *Hiccup* Doctor 1/18/09
How to Win Friends and Influence People Before You're Born 12/27/08
The Pineapple Penis Story 12/20/08
Jason Cage and the Slogan-Off 11/21/08
McCain to Woo African-American Voters by Wearing Blackface 10/31/08
Lymphoma Questions on a Saturday Night 10/11/08
Can We Please Just Forget It? 9/11/08
Scientology Meets Alcoholics Anonymous 9/11/08
When Someone You Know Dies 9/9/08
There's More Free Sex in Atlanta 9/5/08
Anal Sex on the Dan Ryan 8/26/08
I Probably Shouldn't Ask This, But... 8/15/08
The Worst Scholarship Entry Ever 8/14/08
My Cat Fell Out the 5th Story Window 8/7/08
Don't Make Me Think Twice, Steve Krug 7/26/08
Gotta Hand It to Google Transit 7/17/08
The Homeless Give Back 7/15/08
Mind Your Own Jokes 6/25/08
PIC Redesign 6/16/08
Nerdiest or Lamest Invention Ever? 6/9/08
Extreme Makeover: PIC Edition 6/5/08
Helicopter Jokes for Days 5/27/08
My First Bike 5/23/08
Calling All Brits 5/21/08
The Mechanical Bull 5/12/08
Experimental Descriptions 4/27/08
Alexa Finally Admits They Sucked 4/18/08
The Question of Vulgarity 4/10/08
South Park vs. Shit Jobs 3/28/08
Awkward, Sexual Elevator Lines 3/26/08
Court Sullivan Dropped Some Knowledge on Me 3/18/08
Watch Trash, Think Trash 3/13/08
Why Evite Sucks 3/12/08
Keep Blogging, Morons! 3/11/08
The Popsicle Stick Structure 3/3/08
Scare Tactics on Sci Fi 2/26/08
Buying Beer - Not 21 2/14/08
Growing Up Poor 2/13/08
Super Snooze Day 2/5/08
I Hate 50/50 Chances 1/30/08
The Real Facebook Relationship Status List 1/28/08
Why Most Rappers Work for Free 1/21/08
Grocery Store Thoughts 1/18/08
Suggest a Voyeur IM Topic 1/11/08
Worst Crime Scene Investigator Ever 12/19/07
Facebook Photo Warning 12/19/07
The Facebook Group Prank 12/15/07
Sorry I Missed Your IM 12/12/07
My Cat Doesn't Know How to Search the Internet 12/3/07
Obfuscations Screwed the Pooch 11/16/07
A Day in the Life of Court Sullivan 11/14/07
Obfuscations Like a Gay Mexican 11/13/07
Sumo Size Me 11/8/07
Company Slogans Don't Lie 11/1/07
Brazil in the Year 2014 10/30/07
Poor Iraq Cemetery Workers 10/17/07
My Friend Eliot Riebman in an iPhone Commercial 10/8/07
Misleading TV Commercials 9/10/07
Extreme Anal Request 9/8/07
Videos Can be Funny, Too 8/10/07
Cooking Salmon in Your Dishwasher 8/1/07
How to Fly Off Your Bike 7/25/07
Fireworks: The Ultimate PDA 7/4/07
Facebook Gift Alert! 6/19/07
Training Wheels of Steel 6/18/07
British Dental Hygiene Report 6/12/07
Common Spam Questions Answered 5/31/07
Chuck Norris Facts Strike Back 5/30/07
Pick-up Soccer with an Edge 5/24/07
Are You Afraid of the Internet? 5/22/07
The Snippets Got Caught on Video 4/18/07
Checkout Time at the Holiday Inn 4/4/07
Three Holes are Better than Two 3/19/07
Time Out for Daylight Savings 3/11/07
The Office: Doctor Version 2/19/07
A Brief History of the AJC 2/12/07
I'm Picking Up Good Vibrations 1/23/07
Tow, Tow, Tow My Car 1/12/07
Pirates of the Caribbean: Snack Attack 1/10/07
Another Ben Feder?! IMPOSSIBLE! 1/2/07
The Windshield Wiper Theory 12/23/06
From the Wacky PIC Mailbag 11/29/06
It's Getting Hot in Herre 11/20/06
The Fire Alarm Clock 10/11/06
I'm Bringing Fanny Pack 10/4/06
SexyBack Lyrics (Old Dirty Balls Remix) 9/24/06
Painting the Bathroom Brown 9/18/06
Umm, I Got a New Screenname... 9/16/06
Change Good, Static Bad 9/8/06
Print Humor for Stand-Up Comedy! 8/25/06
Too Stupid for a Eugoogly 8/15/06
Heightened Sense of Smellevator 8/10/06
You Might Have a Small Penis If... 8/8/06
It's the Writely Thing to Do 7/31/06
Your Winning Notification! 7/28/06
The Daily Haze 7/20/06
The Quick Brown Fox Thinks Fast 7/14/06
Do We Have a Mop? 7/10/06
The "Great" Zidane INDEED 7/9/06
The PIC SE-WHOA! Awards, Vol. 1 7/7/06
World Cup My Balls, ESPN 7/5/06
A Penny for My Thoughts 7/3/06
Sexy Mouse Lemur Fever 6/30/06
AmsterDAMN! - Overseas Tardiness 6/18/06
Happy Birthday, My Ugly Daughter! 6/14/06
Logging on the Toilet 6/3/06
Things I'm Afraid of in the Shower 6/1/06
Like a Chicken with Its Head Cut Off 5/30/06
Holing Up in Panama City Beach 5/18/06
It's a Celebration, Bitches! 5/5/06
Prioritize Your Penis, Dick 5/1/06
I Got a New Canon SD-110 Battery Charger 4/26/06
Tagging: Annoying, Useless 4/18/06
PIC Shoes: The Fine Footprint of College Life 4/7/06
Moving In the Fast Lane 4/5/06
404 Monkey Business 3/30/06
Your Feedback Please... 3/22/06
Packing: A Moving Experience 3/20/06
The Courtside of Tennis 3/17/06
Negative Service is Off the Hook! 3/14/06
Fatal Attraction, Elegant Spam 3/8/06
Sleep Paralysis Analysis 3/1/06
Honky Tonk Greens 2/23/06
Scent of a Man 2/20/06
How Broken Stuff Works 2/7/06
Google: Miserable Failure 2/1/06
You Might Have a Big Penis If... 1/28/06
Telemarketing Improv 1/25/06
I Came, I Sightsaw, I Conquered 1/18/06
Flossin' on 3-Inch Plackers 1/12/06
Corporate Lingo Mingle 1/11/06
Shock and/or Awe 1/9/06
Bad Old Collection of Days! 1/2/06
Chappelle Theory Dispelled 12/27/05
New for Christmas 2005 12/25/05
Static Transmission 12/12/05
Popular Science Fiction 12/9/05
Feder Bender: Take it in the Rear 11/29/05
Concordia in Dischordia 11/27/05
Room Mating: Sex for Buildings 11/22/05
PIC 5th Anniversary Prohibition Party 11/18/05
Top 5 College Myths 11/11/05
Case in Point vs. Point in Case 11/8/05
Mannequin Depressive 11/2/05
A Taste of My Own Medicine 10/30/05
Falcons Monday Night Football 10/28/05
Chinese Online Advertising: Can You Say PSA? 10/24/05
Taboo Language Barriers 10/19/05
DUI Defense Dream Comes True! 10/14/05
English as a Foreign Language 10/13/05
MasterCard PayPass: For Tap Dancing Idiots 10/12/05
PIC Secrets Volume 1 10/7/05
Days Go By (28 Hour Remix) 10/6/05
Recurring Dreams 10/1/05
Lazy Banana Revelation 9/28/05
Lost In Toxication 9/28/05
Google Experiment 9/22/05
Lamar Torrence is a Gay, White Man 9/22/05
Keane Observations 9/20/05
Voyeur IM in a Nutshell 9/19/05
The Hanging GLiDE Pass 9/15/05
Homeless Opportunities 9/13/05
Victoria's Secret Reader 9/7/05
Katrina: A Whirlwind Affair? 9/6/05
Emory: The Black Hole of Humor 9/4/05
Hurricane Katrina Comic Relief 9/2/05
Coming Clean 9/2/05
Party of Five Experiments 8/29/05
Broken Flowers, Robotic Love 8/25/05
Family Circus Peanuts 8/22/05
When It Rains, It Pours 8/18/05
Art Museum Pick-Up Lines 8/12/05
A-B-C, NYC, 1-2-3 8/11/05
NYC To-Do List 8/4/05
My Typing Award 8/3/05
Labels are Everything 7/29/05
Top 5 Online Typo Discovery 7/27/05
Right Field of Dreams 7/23/05
Love Hate Relationship 7/21/05
Great IKEA, Can I Use It? 7/20/05
Yahoo! IM Live Recap 7/15/05
Giant Blogs Attack NYC! 7/14/05
Yahoo! News Clown Boards 7/13/05
Webward Ho 7/12/05
Too Hot for PIC 7/11/05
The Hard Way Morphs 7/10/05
Donnie Darko: Director's Cut 7/10/05
Beer Battered Baseball 7/8/05
Trans Phat Farm 7/7/05
Irony Loves Company 7/6/05
Mental Picture 7/6/05
Damaged Goods 7/1/05
Yosemite National Parkway 6/26/05
Retail for Sale! 6/20/05
Alarming Reactions 6/19/05
Censorship is a B**ch 6/15/05
Prized Possessions 6/15/05
Crowd Pleasers 6/14/05
Man vs. Beast on FOX 6/10/05
Cleaning Up Their Acts 6/9/05
Loco Motion 6/6/05
Semiformal Keg Party 6/2/05
Barnes and Shameful 5/31/05
Balancing Act 5/30/05
Credit Card Roulette 5/29/05
Social Networking 5/26/05
My Scarlett Letter 5/24/05
I'm on the Map 5/19/05
Drunk Decision 5/18/05
Dark Side of the Moon 5/16/05
The P Word 5/12/05
The 8-Second Bra Lines 5/11/05
I've, Become So Numb 5/10/05
Infomania Schminfomania 5/8/05
Tap This 5/7/05
Friday is Pizza Day 5/4/05
I Leap Over Their Heads 5/3/05
My First Girlfriend 4/30/05
Imperfect Timing 4/29/05
Going Postal 4/28/05
I Fart Fuckabees 4/27/05
Overdue Ending 4/26/05
Meager beginnings 4/26/05

Comedy Articles


My First Day at the Cemetery
My biggest fear at the cemetery was getting beat up at lunch, an occurrence that I had yet to witness happen to anyone on any of my other first days of digging holes.
Sep 20, 2012


How to Rob a House
An unedited article submission tackling another illegal profession: robbery. Don't read too closely, for you'll likely need a lot more instruction before making this a career.
May 19, 2009


5 Reasons Not to Vote for President
Still wondering whether it’s worth making the trek down to the polling precinct where the line will be wrapped around town? Remember, you haven't done enough research, and it's not who gets the most votes anyway.
Nov 4, 2008


Sell Ticket-Fighter Hangtags at YOUR School
Make extra cash at college selling fake parking hangtags. Everyone loves the sketchy campus dealer!
May 30, 2008


Guide to Trendy IM Laughing
A revolutionary way to laugh on your keyboard using physical hand spasms to represent your laughter. LOL is dead, dudes.
May 30, 2008


Stop Sneezing: Deadly New Research Study
A news/research article. You think cell phones are the cause of most traffic accidents? You must not know about the 'quadruple-sneeze.'
May 30, 2008


Gangsta Brawlin': The Ron Artest Interview
Ron 'Loose Cannon' Artest talks to PIC about his NBA fight with fans.
May 30, 2008


How to Email Your Professor
An inside look at what professors are really thinking when they read your dumbass emails. (Written by a real college professor.)
May 30, 2008


Briana Banks: The Pornstar IM Interview
A breakthrough screenname discovery finally pays off when Briana Banks signs on. Get the dirty, inside scoop on this A-list pornstar.
May 30, 2008


College Parody Resume
What if you could tell the whole truth on your resume? It would probably look a lot like this one. Good luck getting hired!
May 30, 2008


Pear Mango Passion: The Animal Testing Prank
The Alberto V05 shampoo-makers get a prank call about their animal testing policy. All the dog wants is some fruity conditioner and a good pampering!
May 30, 2008


On Top of the Clothesline and Dreaming
How do you get rid of ants in your pants fifteen minutes before work starts? You snipe-pinch them of course!
May 30, 2008


Non-Reader's Guide to Reading for Pleasure
American people hate nothing more than the thought of 'reading for pleasure.' Now read this article and find out why.
May 30, 2008


Top 10 Dorm Room Mixed Drink Stirrers
The top 10 dorm room mixed drink stirrers - from 'highly unlikely' to 'downright disgusting.' You know you've tried them all before.
May 30, 2008


Macy's World's Largest Bombing Display
Macy's takes on the NYPD in front of cheering thousands in this spectacularly dangerous annual tradition.
May 30, 2008


Investor Confidence Weakened By Atmospheric Pressure
A satirical news article about the new factors affecting Wall Street. This one has meteorologists everywhere stumped.
May 30, 2008


The Beginner's Guide to Jail
Everything you need to know to survive your first time in a minimum-security correctional facility!
May 30, 2008


Get Wasted at Emory
An actual flyer distributed around the Emory University campus promoting an event celebrating drinking and getting plastered.
May 30, 2008


How to Deal With College Finals and Papers
Feeling a little stressed out with exams and term papers? Get the ultimate cynical perspective here and things won't seem nearly as bad.
May 30, 2008


My College Admission Essay
Court's real college admission essay. Caution: 'after-school special corniness' comes in large doses.
May 30, 2008


Top 10 Ways to Generate Feelings of False Progress on a Paper
The top 10 ways to trick yourself into feeling like you're actually making progress on an 8-page term paper.
May 30, 2008


I Am the DUC Cafeteria
A first-person narrative in which a college student becomes the mind of his school's cafeteria, the Dobbs University Center (aka 'the DUC').
May 30, 2008


Ebay: Dumbasses of America Unite!
Should people be required to take IQ tests before gaining 'question for seller' privileges? You decide with these brilliant, unedited inquiries!
May 30, 2008


Cuban Missile Explodes: Kills All 72 Aboard
An Onion-esque news article. Trying to flee from Cuba to Florida is a no-brainer, but why didn't they wear their seatbelts?!
May 30, 2008


Unofficial College Quarter Shortage Theory
Ever wonder why college kids are always desperate for quarters? Well, the quarter itself has a history of elusion.
May 30, 2008


College Student Regrets Divulging Computer Password
College kids remember: trusting others with your alpha-numerics means putting your online life in jeopardy. Keep your password to yourself.
May 30, 2008


The Cost of Living: Now on Sale!
Need to live cheap? Not a problem in Athens, GA, where you can eat, drink, park, drink more, taxi home, and still survive below the poverty line.
May 30, 2008


Credit Cards Gone Wild!
First credit cards were plastic. Then they were gold, silver, and platinum. What element will gain financial stardom from VISA and the scientists next?
May 30, 2008


Cell Phones: The Gift and the Curse
You love to hate cell phones, but you can't live without them. It's about time someone gave some static back to the mobile industry.
May 30, 2008


The Mystery of the Campus Shuttle
A compelling college transportation drama. 'Unit 3, we have an unmarked shuttle headed for the abandoned warehouse. Unit 3, I repeat...... Unit 3?'
May 30, 2008


The Buck Stops Here, Mr. Authoritarian Administration!
A rallying call to apathetic students at small, pointless colleges everywhere: your Evil Administration is trying to turn your campus into a 'non-campus campus'!
May 30, 2008


Bigger is Better: Drinking or Driving
If you're going to drink and drive, be a man about it. Seriously, the bigger the better.
May 30, 2008


Career Opportunities at 7-Eleven
A career opportunity announcement from 7-Eleven. New combat training and intensive care units make 7-Eleven the perfect career move.
May 30, 2008


Inbox and Domain Name Humor
Taboo inbox humor, new clothing lines, a circus of domain names, and elephant puns.
May 30, 2008


Behind the First Name
Court and E. Mike - Behind the first name, ahead of the movie curve, and somewhere in between the lyrical lines.
May 30, 2008


Yo Momma Jokes and Maria Sharapova
The skinny (and fat) on yo momma jokes, plus a look at Maria Sharapova's crotch.
May 30, 2008