An Open Memo to 85% of the Girls in My Classes

My favorite post yet.

I second everything said above.

tou-muthafuckin'-che my good man

best thing ive read on your blog bar none.

nicely put ahaha

Thank fucking god someone said it simply. It's the only way those girls will ever get it through their overly-text-messaged brains.

Don't forget the "ummmss", "likes", "totallys" and "ohh my goood" dumbass squeals!

I think whores are out there because of men...

That was brilliant, Gaudio. Just perfect.

I agree with everything, except for them getting drunk and sucking dick. They need to keep that up.

BRILLIANCE.

There are no sluts on earth, just more people he can roundhouse kick.

You dont fuck Chuck, he fucks you.

(Original) Look these jokes up, and you will not find them ANYWHERE. Chuck says so himself... he's typing this.

I think I love you! LOL! That was excellent!

it needed to be said

I read most of what you write on PIC, and I think you're very funny. I've never been offended by anything I've read of yours, because I'm pretty sure that ultimately, you're not really being serious.
However, I really don't like this poem. I agree with you on all points of it, wholeheartedly, in fact. I just don't think that you can write consistently about how women need to be skinny, hot, and on the slutty side of easy, and then tell them to stop with the excessive personal upkeep and read a book instead.
You can't womanize and then yell at women to get some self-respect.

yeah, you have to hit them sometimes too..

Tanning beds, bleached hair, and huge sunglasses are not 'personal upkeep,' they are LIES.

You dont really look like that.

Just like high heels, wonderbras, and beer, women use all sorts of tools to make themselves look like something that they arent. I think Nick is suggesting that they invest that time and money and energy into developing some form of personality by educating themselves instead of playing pretty princess.

I am of the unsolicited and perhaps unwanted opinion that women should keep looking like whores. If they want to develop personalities, they will. Until then, their costumes make it easy to figure out who's out for a good time and who is honestly searching for meaning. Please Nick, don't convince women to make life harder for me.

Totally agree, but at least spell correctly: Uggs.

True that! Dumb sluts give us all a bad name!

This might be funny was it not about two years too late. Uggs, shredded denim skirts, and Mary-Kate Olsen sunglasses were all at their peak in 2004. And aside from that, I am sure about 85% of all people in your classes have already made a joke about stupid girls in Uggs. Maybe in two years you can write an open memo to Kevin Federline.