The Nate Way 
By Nathan DeGraaf
I, Points in Case Columnist and reserved diplomat, Nathan DeGraaf, live in Tampa and write about whatever I want. One day, someone may actually pay me to babble on endlessly about my meaningless existence. Until then, this will have to do.
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By Nathan DeGraaf
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About Nathan DeGraaf
Hometown
Tampa, FL by way of St. Louis, MO
School
University of South Florida
At a Glance
Nathan DeGraaf graduated fucking years ago with a BA in Creative Writing from the University of South Florida, which he still lives near because college chicks are the best.
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By Nathan DeGraaf
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What the Hell are Street Smarts?
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By Nathan DeGraaf
The Snippets Archive
Listen
What the Hell are Street Smarts?
A Day in the Life of a Crappy Photographer
BJ, Catslut and Army Dude
Nathan "Nate" DeGraaf
In Memory of that One Dude
Intervention Free
Rest in Peace Old Friend
Talking About Breakfast
At Least It's Summer
I'm With You Peta
Brave New Chore
Coney Island of the Gut
Hot Chicks Will Mess You Up
My Favorite Ten Lines
You Can't Enforce Respect
It's Not Like he was Gonna Write Beethoven's Fifth
A Hurricane by any Other Name
Your Money is Lying to You
Gasparilla: I'm a Shitty Photographer
Post 420
A Five Tool Rat
I'd Make a Lousy Dad
Missouri is a Bitch
Lil' Tony's Mortality
Health: The Nate Way
A Conversation with Jake
A Conversation with Mickey
My New Pet
Good Weird Moment in a Little League Tulip Field
We Will Never Forget
Lord Stanley and the Pampered Bitch
Ten Things that Suck About Sleeping Around
Bad Baseball and Presumptuous Rednecks
The Bible: Just a Book
Six Bucks in New York
Chills: The Coolest Dog Ever
Nuclear Wings and Spicy Bombs
Behind the Scenes with the Boss
Bye Kirby
Killer Train of Thought
Jealous Much
Interview with a Bunni
Wholeheartedly Endorsed
The Humanity
What's in a Hurricane Name?
Crash into Familiarity
No Strings
Nate's Life Lessons
Your Tax Dollars at Work
Hardly Playing the Race Card
Steroids: Because Losing Sucks
Welcome to Florida - Shut Up
Your Mom Digs My Shirt
The Zoo: A Memory
Missing Someone
RJ and the Half Drunk Prince
The Cute White Boy
Your Mom's Links
Simmons
Maddox
With Leather
Amir's Blog
FJM
Deadspin
Surf Report
Kissing Suzy Kolber
NOIS
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Bruises Fade
Posted May 15th, 2008 by Nathan DeGraaf
Honestly, there's nothing left.
That's the cool thing about a breakup. Everything starts with emotions and confusion, nothing gets expressed properly, people blow up at each other, threats are made, furniture is broken, unnecessary insults are hurled, drunken phone calls are made and in the end, you (if you're me) crawl into a bottle of liquor for a few days and you don't come out.
And then one day it's just over.
You know it's over when you stop thinking about her, when you no longer want that drink because, holy shit man, you are alone. ALONE. People don't drink alone unless they're after-school-special-sized alcoholics. What the hell were you thinking, douchebag?
And then the clarity returns and the self-pity fades. The world might still be throwing punches at you, but you're back to bobbing and weaving and, most importantly, back to laughing at yourself when your ass lands on the canvas.
And then there's nothing left.
The emotions get flat like old soda and trashed like? well like trash.
And then you realize that you don't hate anybody. In fact, far from it.
A poet once wrote, "When the bruises fade, the lightning aches."
I never really knew what that meant until this breakup happened. And maybe I still don't know what it means, but in keeping with my new mantra, I must say that I think I know what it means.
I think I know that bruises are pain and lightning is urge, and as the pain fades, the urges return and life realigns itself in your skull.
If you're scoring at home, I could have just written the sentence, "I feel really good today" and got it over with. But this was more poetic, no?
That's the cool thing about a breakup. Everything starts with emotions and confusion, nothing gets expressed properly, people blow up at each other, threats are made, furniture is broken, unnecessary insults are hurled, drunken phone calls are made and in the end, you (if you're me) crawl into a bottle of liquor for a few days and you don't come out.
And then one day it's just over.
You know it's over when you stop thinking about her, when you no longer want that drink because, holy shit man, you are alone. ALONE. People don't drink alone unless they're after-school-special-sized alcoholics. What the hell were you thinking, douchebag?
And then the clarity returns and the self-pity fades. The world might still be throwing punches at you, but you're back to bobbing and weaving and, most importantly, back to laughing at yourself when your ass lands on the canvas.
And then there's nothing left.
The emotions get flat like old soda and trashed like? well like trash.
And then you realize that you don't hate anybody. In fact, far from it.
A poet once wrote, "When the bruises fade, the lightning aches."
I never really knew what that meant until this breakup happened. And maybe I still don't know what it means, but in keeping with my new mantra, I must say that I think I know what it means.
I think I know that bruises are pain and lightning is urge, and as the pain fades, the urges return and life realigns itself in your skull.
If you're scoring at home, I could have just written the sentence, "I feel really good today" and got it over with. But this was more poetic, no?
10 Comments
I'm sorry she hurt you, Nate. How many chicks have you banged since the breakup?
0
As someone with the privelage to have read the comment you deleted a few posts down I just want to say that it is very clear that this was written by a guy who thinks he's a great writer but writes stupid shit.
Oh and something about no friends too.
Nice job Nate.
And on the column too.
Ain't nothin' wrong with drinking alone, man. You know it, I know it, and Frank Kelly Rich best wrote about it here:
http://www.drunkard.com/issues/03_03/03-03_zen_drinking_alone.htm
Glorious!
Hey Nate, I like this post, but thats not why I'm commenting on it. I don't have a bloggerID or I would have posted on your investorscoroner blogspot. I like it. I have been a daily reader of yours since my sophomore year (2005) and I know you will one day stop the comedy blog, but I really hope you keep up the stock one. For once, I'm actually learning. I shouldn't say thanks because learning and the internet should go together, but thanks
Matt, I have no plans on stopping The Nate Way. I'm just experimenting with market writing. Also, I have since changed the coroner's comment box so that it too has a liberal commenting philosophy like here.
Hey. I bought your book a while back, and what I've read of it was quite entertaining. However, my scholastic curriculum grabbed my free time by the short hairs and I've been otherwise incapable of finishing it. Lucky for me, school is done for the next 5 months, so I can get back to it between job hunting and drinking. Altho, I have to wonder if it's more/less entertaining drunk... Anyway, I only say this because A) you don't mention the book anymore and I'd rather you not forget that people (maybe just 'a person') are (maybe just 'is') actually reading it, and B) I'm procrastinating.
The book is still coming. There was a lot of grime to clean off, very little help doing it and not a lot of time or money to get it done. But it is coming. I promise.
book? what book? The life and times of Nate DeGraff? Let me know and I will pre-order it! :)
Glad to hear that you are getting over her but I have to say I am surprised it has been this quick! Maybe it is different for guys vs girls. I have never had the luxury of that "relationship light switch" where you can just turn it off and forget that person ever was in your life - but it does make things easier to move on!
wishing you the best and I like your new Investment blog...
Elisha
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