College Quotes
Pat: Why do you ALWAYS call me drunk??
Nikko: I don't know, why do you call me sober?
-On revealing phone secrets
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About Nathan DeGraaf
Hometown
Tampa, FL by way of St. Louis, MO
School
University of South Florida
At a Glance
Nathan DeGraaf graduated fucking years ago with a BA in Creative Writing from the University of South Florida, which he still lives near because college chicks are the best.
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Pro Stupid Choice
This is like the twentieth time in my life I've heard this same story. One group of people believe that the confederate flag represents slavery and another group believes it represents the heritage of an overly taxed people who fought oppression. I guess both sides have a case and I truly don't give a fuck what happens to the confederate flag because I'm not Southern and I'm not Northern. I'm from the Midwest. And, though the state in which I was raised was originally a slave state, it also never joined the confederacy (talk about having your cake and eating it, too), and as such, most of our residents never felt very strongly about the validity of the confederate flag.
Then I moved to Tampa where it's still kind of an important issue to some people. And after a while here, I can honestly say that I still don't give a fuck.
Maybe it's me, maybe I'm just naturally apathetic, but it seems to me that the issue here is whether or not the confederate flag represents slavery and/or hatred of black people. Again, I can't be sure about that. I don't claim to know what the flag means and I certainly don't read symbols for a living?it looks like some kind of dressed up, American cross to me?but I still think I know how we can solve this problem.
We can all shut the fuck up and quit worrying about a symbol.
It amazes me the power that a word or a symbol can have over people. But we have to acknowledge the fear and hate associated with words and symbols. After all, no one would put a middle finger on a state flag because of what people associate middle fingers with, namely fucking themselves. So it follows then, that we as a culture must be really picky about what kind of symbols end up on flags.
If only we had some kind of democratic process in place so that people's opinions could be registered?
In my opinion, and call me stupid, this seems like the kind of thing people should get to vote on. I mean, if the majority of South Carolinians want the damn flag to fly then they should hold a vote every so often, confirm or deny that opinion, and then shut the fuck up about it. No matter what that flag may symbolize, and who it may offend, nothing changes the fact that what South Carolina does with the confederate flag is South Carolina's business.
I mean, after all, I don't want people busting into my living room and telling me what symbols I'm allowed to keep there. So why should any state put up with that shit?
Say what you will about the validity of flying a flag that may or may not (depending on your perspective) symbolize hate, and worse yet, slavery, but don't take away anyone's freedom to make it happen. People are stupid, and part of freedom means that the government just has to let them be stupid to a certain extent.
In Florida, motorcycle helmets aren't mandatory. The state is of the opinion that if you're too dumb to protect your head while riding a motorcycle, then you deserve a cracked skull. That's your right as a Floridian. No one, not even the people who ride without helmets, would tell you that it is safer to bike without a helmet on. But still, I believe firmly in their right not to do it. I hate seatbelt laws (and always wear my seatbelt, by the way?they save lives), I hate forced recycling (though I've been known to recycle) and I'm totally against affirmative action (though I've never been affected by it job-wise and I'm not racist) because all three limit choice.
And insofar as my government's concerned, I would rather it just leave the few choices I have left up to me.
I don't know how South Carolina feels about choice, but could you really blame them for feeling the same way?
16 Comments
nate, i thought this was a good one. ive read your shit for well over a year now, and i think this post is definetely one of your better ones.
Good stuff, man. Don't get me wrong, I like the tales of drunken debauchery, but this was very well written and very insightful. Cool to see that side every once in a while =D
DLP
I love when you think things out. It makes me so hot.
bravo.
An intelligent piece from Nate that actually is coherant and flows? Nice.
Whilst I agree with very much everything you write there Nate, I just want to point out that to many black people, the confederate flag is to them what the swastika is to Jews. Whilst in itself it is merely a symbol, what it associated with it are racist undertones. What I mean is that I can certainly empathise with those who take offense to it, I disagree with banning it.
NATE...YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT...ITS NOT YOUR FAULT...ITS YOUR UGLY ASS MOMMA'S...SHE BIRTHED YOU THRU HER ANUS...FUCKING SHIT FOR BRAINS
"I'll take "Caps Lock Key for $500, Alex."
Alex: "Answer: Because They Were dropped on their head at Birth."
Contestant: "Why do people insist on posting in all caps?"
Dude, get over it. No one gives a shit about your self generated hatered of Nathan. I think it is mis directed hate, that it should be directed at yourself. Because if you hate someone so much that you have never met, then maybe you really are an ass. Maybe, you think everyone hates you. You are probably right. So, kill yourself.
Best of Luck in your upcoming suicide,
-Kev
Nathan- Nice job.
KEV...I WOULD NEVER HATE ANYONE THAT WAS MENTALLY CHALLENGED LIKE OUR BUDDY NATE HERE....HIS GAY ASS OBSERVATIONS ONLY STIMULATE THE MINDS OF GAY 7th GRADERS LIKE YOURSELF...IF NATE IS HALF THE STUD HE THINKS HE IS, WHY DOESN'T HE DESCRIBE SOME OF THE CHICK'S MOM'S HE SCREWED WHILE HIS GIRLY WAS IN THE BATHROOM TAKING A SHIT?...UNTIL HE DOES THAT...I HAVE NO RESPECT....FUCK OFF KEV---JAY
Jay? See how much better do you feel telling everyone your first name. See how easy that was. Didn't hurt one little bit did it? I bet it didn't hurt nearly as bad as finding out that I am a gay 7th grader. And since you are corresponding with a gay 7th drader, I guess that makes you a homosexual and a pedophile. Congratulations bidet breath, you win.
So since you have such clearly expressed guidelines on how to be a stud, why don't you tell us about some of your scalps? Well..... we are waiting. C'mon, stud, tell us how you pull in the ass...
Since I only have 3 kids, I would clearly love to find out how to get laid. Maybe then you can tell me how to be successful in business? Hmmm. I mean I have only sold 1 company for 110mm, and in negotiations with a fortune 50 right now to sell another, but damn... I guy like you knows so much, maybe you point the way for me.
I will check back often for answers and enlightenment.
-Kev
and yeah, you just got called out. You fuckin schlamozzel.
Hee Hee Hee@ Jeopardy reference. By the way what the fuck is a "schlamozzel"?
I used to think Jay was just miffed that Nate banged his girl friend or something... but the truth is so much funnier. I'm sorry that Nate fucked your mom in her ass, Jay. Best of luck with that.
Dude.
KEV...MAYBE I WAS WRONG ABOUT YOU...IT TAKES A HELL OF A GUY TO RAISE SOMEONE ELSE'S KIDS...MY HARD HATS' OFF TO YOU, JUST LIKE YOUR GIRL TOLD ME TO DO AFTER I PULLED IT OUT OF HER ASS AND STUCK IT IN HER MOUTH...IT WAS FUN ASS FUCKING THAT TIGHT ASS WHILE I MADE HER SUCK ON HER WEDDING RING AND TELL ME "FUCK ME IN THE ASS HARDER WITH THAT BIG DICK KEVIN"...YOUR BASTARD KIDS LIKED WATCHING ME WRITE MY NAME ON HER BACK WITH MY SHIT COVERED COCK...AS FAR AS SELLING COMPANIES, MONOPOLY DOESN'T COUNT...B&O RAILROAD AND MARVIN GARDENS ARE IN FANTASYLAND JUST LIKE YOUR HOPES THAT YOUR 210lb 4'10" DAUGHTER WILL STOP SUCKING BLACK GUYS DICKS FOR BEER MONEY...MY SECRET TO GETTING LAID IS I JUST COME OVER YOUR PLACE...THAT SCHLAMOZEL SHIT GIVES YOU AWAY...BET YOU KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO THE LAVERNE & SHIRLEY SONG...FUCKING IDIOT...TELL YOUR GIRL I'M BRINGING 3 BUDDYS WITH ME TOMMORROW SO SHE BETTER LEAVE SOME ROOM IN HER STOMACH...FUCKING WHORE....FUCK OFF ONCE AGAIN KEV----IGOR STRAVINSKY
caps kid is funny, in a -he must be such a horrifyingly sad and severely depressed person to be bitching at people that obviously dont care- kinda way.
Nate, as always, you're amazing.
Ouch Jay, that hurt. Dude c'mon, I give you an open platform to be funny, and or give advice on not one, but two comments, and this is the best you got? Dude my kids are funnier than you. By the way, my daughter, is 3 so uhhh, why are you so infatuated with the whole pedophilia thing? dude seriously, you hate yourself, not us. And we (the collective) hate you, not ourselves, so since it is unanimous, kill yourself. No, seriously, do it. You are just as worthless as you think you are, and all of your pretend friends tell you that you are. Just swallow the bullett, and relieve your parents of the embarrasment that is your life. Who knew that abortions could live? Can't blame them, but maybe they should have not fed you with that "You are just as good as the other kids, Jay" bullshit while they were putting on your red helmet before you got on the short school bus. C'mon you remember, they used to say that every morning right before they would say, "Remember Jay, don't lick the windows on the bus again."
Dude, if you are a dude, you have way too much fascination with violent sex and pedophilia, so you just need to kill yourself before the state has to do it.
BTW a schlameel is someone who shits a schlomozzel is someone who gets shit on. Learn your yiddish. It might help you make a buck, should you prove out to be the coward I and everyone thinks you are, and can't kill yourself.
Dude, your mom should have swallowed.
Now, you have been dismissed. Go play in your room with you Star Wars collectibles, and fantasize about having all the toys Michael Jackson had so you too could have lured all the little kids to your house.
You are nothing, and I have to go back to work.
Loser.
-Kev
Nate,
You strike a chord with me on this issue.
Georgians were given a choice about the flag, of course, the illustrious government changed it so that we couldn't vote on the 1956 Georgia flag.
"So Perdue and the legislature took the final step in keeping the people from voting "the wrong way". They removed the 1956 flag from the ballot! But they kept the referendum, and more or less insured the Perdue Flag will remain the official flag of Georgia."
Now Gov Perdue is against letting us vote on purchasing beer and wine on Sunday. He was quoted as saying
"Think of it this way?It really helps you plan ahead for the rest of your life ? buying on Saturday, rather than Sunday. Time management."
HAHAHAH.
I love the south.
So I'm a little late on this one, but I worked with a guy over the summer who insisted that motorcycle helmets were unsafe. He'd talk about all these studies proving it.... man I don't need studies... common sense tells me, law or no law, the probability of cracking open your skull will be decreased by wearing a helmet!
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