The Humanity

Well, Tookie is dead, and there ain’t a damn thing that Snoop Dogg can do about it. I’d like to tell you that I really give a damn, but I never knew Tookie. I’m sure he’s a great guy and all, but like I said, me and Tookie, we weren’t tight. I am impressed with how the local media has turned this into a death penalty issue, though. I even learned some things. For example, did you know that the death penalty is illegal in every country in the European Union? Of course, I think guns are also illegal over there. Fucking Europe. Think they’re so civilized just ‘cause they don’t let 18 year olds shoot each other. Pansies.

I once read a book called Death Row: An Affirmation of Life by Steven Levine. It’s a great book and I highly recommend it. In that book, there’s a second person account of what it’s like to be led to the gas chamber. I don’t care who you are. That part will scare you. I also have an account of the last words of every inmate in the history of Texas execution since 1971 (and yes, I realize I have a morbid fascination with execution). I find it interesting that Tookie’s last words were most likely, “Are you sure you’re doing that right?” And by the way, did you know that in recorded Texas history, the most popular last word said is Warden, as in, “I’m ready Warden”? The second most common last word is Amen, as in I just prayed to go to heaven and I’m sweating my sins. And yes, I know I’m babbling, but I have a point. Here it is: it’s kind of sick that we kill people for their crimes in this country.

But hell, what are you gonna do?

I mean really. In the end it’s not my decision. I don’t fight for causes mainly because I don’t care, but also because I believe that in the end, my causes will find me and not the other way around. So far, no one has started a campaign against the local pub, so I’m sitting pretty. Sorry, Tookie.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is apparently getting a shitload of negative press from Europe for participating in this barbaric act. I don’t get it. Did the people of Europe miss every one of his movies? I mean seriously, he’s Arnold fucking Schwarzenegger. (Side note: How cool is it for Tookie to be actually killed by Arnold Schwarzenegger? I mean, think of all the people who’ve been killed by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the movies. I’ll bet Tookie flew to heaven as a star, a big bright shining Schwarzenegger-shot star).

The thing I like I about Tookie: he refused to admit his guilt. Not for nothing. I think that’s pretty cool. Guilty or not, I’da said anything if it meant I got to live. Not Tookie. No way. After almost twenty years of living in a cell, he died swearing his innocence all the way. Kinda like Pete Rose before the book. Except that Pete’s alive. Yeah, I’m an idiot.

And I guess, all in all, that’s the real point. I’m stupid, and you just read everything I gleaned from the death of Tookie, whose real name I forget because I don’t really care.

But I am fascinated by the whole thing.