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Exercising Restraint
>>> Ask Nicole
By staff writer
Nicole McKaig
May 12, 2004
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Dear Nicole,
My long-term boyfriend has written a very formal sounding letter that is
almost like a legal contract that he keeps insisting that I sign. This
document says amongst other things that "I agree to be committed to him
forever." We are not engaged and I find this document highly offensive.
I feel that if he was just feeling insecure, he would be more likely to
write a informal, loving type letter, not an almost legal sounding
"contract." My dad has advised me not to sign as he says it could be
used against me if the relationship ever went sour.
In addition, I feel that my boyfriend doesn't really love me. He is
distant, won't kiss me, treats me like a buddy if we ever go out, and
expects me to pay for everything (he refuses to get a job). In the past,
he has also been critical, and possessive. My boyfriend won't let up,
and keeps insisting that I sign. He has now threatened to not come over
and see me (we live apart) until I agree to sign. Am I overreacting by
refusing to sign this? Thanks.
-Heather
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Dear Heather,
I predict that three years from now, his neighbor will be
quoted in your local newspaper: "He seemed like such a nice
boy. He really didn’t seem like the dismembering type." Even
though I understand that possessive, emotionally-distant,
unemployed men are hard to resist, here’s a little legal
advice: The only thing you should sign is a restraining
order.
Sincerely,
Nicole
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Dear Nicole,
Why are you so damn funny? Where does your constant wit come from? HOW CAN
I BE LIKE THAT!?
~Nicki
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Dear Nicki,
Thanks, that's so sweet! To answer your question, my
propensity for humor stems from being an ugly, fat bitch.
Sincerely,
Nicole
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Dear Nicole,
Why are you such an ugly fat bitch?
-Tim Chen
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Dear Tim,
See above question.
Sincerely,
Nicole
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 Dear
Nicole,
If you castrate a pig, does it become disgruntled?
-Joe Mamma
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Dear Joe,
Why don't you ask
Court
about this one. He's had
a lot more experience in this area than I have.
Sincerely,
Nicole
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Dear Nicole,
I keep trying to stalk this guy, but he keeps changing his e-mail, and
when I finally figure out his new schedule at school again, he changes
it. What should I do?
~Lacey
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Dear Lacey,
Remember: The only difference between a successful stalker and
an unsuccessful stalker is commitment. (A quality telephoto
lens doesn't hurt either.)
Sincerely,
Nicole
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What are your First Impressions?
When you meet someone for the first time, what are you
attracted to? What totally turns you off? I want to
know what makes the difference for you when it comes to
first impressions. Hair color? A great smile? What he or
she's wearing? Also, I want to know what turns you off:
Pick-up lines? Ego oozing out of every orifice? A .22? Be
specific and original. Girls, don't give me "nice car."
Guys, don't give me "big boobs"...I'm happy with the ones
I've got. I'll post your thoughts and opinions next week!
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| Nicole McKaigearned a BA in Psychology from Seattle Pacific University and recently graduated from Cal State University with an MS in Criminology. As a girl, she was raised by an enchanting gaggle of friendly woodland creatures in the foothills of the Pacific Northwest, where she frolicked in lush green meadows by day and nested in a cozy thicket by night. She currently exists in post-grad limbo near Seattle, where she survives by scavenging for bits of bread overlooked by native waterfowl. Please submit your innermost problems and superficial worries for Nicole to solve! |
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