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(We return to KC's Nuptial Adventure with Dirty Mike, KC's old college roommate.)

We were at a Chinese hall for a Chinese wedding. I was determined to stay relatively sober for this wedding, so I could remember it, given that I would be leaving the country in two weeks and wouldn't see my friends for a year. Read More »

I go to a lot of weddings. Every year I write about the love, liquor, and languishing that goes on at the nuptials I attend. This year, I received an all-time low amount of wedding invitations. Mostly because my friends are all married (or hopeless), but also because I planned on moving to Korea. So this event would be my last wedding in America for a while. Read More »

I just found this. In case you haven't been watching my every Tweet, blog, and step, I've relocated to the ROK—The Republic of Korea—for at least one year. But I needed to do some shit in America first. Here is my American Bucket List.

1. Go to a Baseball Game with My Brothers Read More »

So I left the USA—my home for 30 solid years—to teach English in the ROK (Republic of Korea). Moving made me sad. But, my friends threw a party! Read More »

10. Ice Headband

It's like a cold shower, for your skull. Just pop this fucker in the freezer and wear it when you're hungover. Instant cure!

9. Twitter Butt Plug Read More »

Setup: KC and the Organ Gang find themselves in Las Vegas for a bachelor party.

Scene: KC and the Organs wait in line for the Spearmint Rhino.

JUNK: This is going to be great! We're going to see some hot Las Vegas boobs.

KC: I hate strip clubs. Read More »

Okay, I know this title has the word "roofies" in it, and only assholes use roofies. Trust me, I've been accidentally roofied twice and it sucks majorly. But hear me out. I thought of some world-changing ideas for roofie usage—and not just so the creepy guy, backwards hat guy or well-dressed dickface guy can get laid to an unconscious person. Read More »

« Back to Vegas Inventions, Part 1

Howdy folks! Have you ever been to Las Vegas and wondered, "What show do I just need to see so I can brag to my friends?" "Where are all the hot Vegas strippers at?" "Why is kc writing another fucking Vegas Inventions? I thought that shitbird was supposed to write about college life?" Read More »

Yep, time for more inventions. Only this time, they're not for you bratty college kids. They're for the bratty shitbirds who visit Las Vegas. It's true. The City of Sin has a lot of everything. 24/7 drinking. No open container law. A strip club on every block. Read More »

Hey future employers. How's it going? I see you're researching me for a future position in your company, firm, school, or burger joint. I just want you to know something. Yeah. I've drunk alcohol before. Give me a fucking break. You haven't? Read More »

Scene: KC straightens his tie in the bathroom. He's prepping for the interview that may change his life for the better.

KC: I'm not going to lie, I feel good, I look great, and I'm going to rock this job interview like it's never been rocked before. Let's do a roll call: Hands?

Read More »

Have you ever noticed how good advice always sounds like the complete opposite of what you'd expect? Read More »

It's been two years since I've been entertaining (or annoying) you, my faithful PIC readers and fans. Instead of blabbing about my favorite memories like this is a sorority instead of a website, I'm going to put down the most comprehensive writing guide I've ever, um, written. Just for you kids. Read More »

Scene: KC slumbers, but the Organ Gang still works.

BRAIN: You know, as big of a prick as he is, we should do something nice for KC.

JUNK: Like what? Asphyxiate ourselves?

BRAIN: No. Quit being a dick. There's got to be something nice we can do while he's asleep. Read More »