Anti-Chuck Norris Facts: Women

Chuck Norris is vulnerable to...

WOMEN!

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Top 10 Facts - Chuck Norris' ultimate vulnerabilities.
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Chuck Norris Women Facts:

Chuck Norris loves to strike up meaningless conversations with single mothers long enough to finish his Virginia Slim cigarette, put it out in the child's eye, and run away.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa her smile. It happened when she saw Chuck naked.

Chuck Norris is such a man he once performed a roundhouse kick and reversed the rotational axis of the earth, pulling time and space into a single black hole, in which all Chuck Norris fans eagerly packed into in the hopes of going back in time to an earlier period when they actually had a chance of getting a
girlfriend.

Chuck Norris gave his mom AIDS for Christmas.

Chuck is a better man than you'll ever be. Then again, so is Janet Reno.

Chuck Norris' back is so hairy that even Persian women are turned off. But the men love it.

Chuck Norris once tried to get with Reese Witherspoon. She considered him "Legally Small Penised."

Chuck Norris really DOES know the meaning of "Just Say No," because he just says no all the time...to women.

Chuck Norris' mom was in labor for three more days following his birth: one for his ego, one for his intelligence, and one for his talent. The latter two were stillborns from lack of oxygen. Only Chuck Norris' ego survived.

Chuck Norris has yet to find the G-spot. Scientists find it perplexing that Chuck Norris doesn't know his way around his vagina.

Chuck Norris lost custody of his children in an arm wrestling match with Bea Arthur.

Chuck Norris was once a female East German shot-putter named Berta Schultz. She was laughed off the team for throwing like a girl. Several operations later, Berta became Chuck. S/he lives with that shame every day.

Chuck Norris fears no man! Only women.

Chuck Norris was once heard saying, "Boy, I sure wish Jessica Simpson had smaller tits."

Chuck Norris once heard a women screaming while being raped in a dark alley. When Chuck Norris approached, he gave the woman a roundhouse kick to
jaw so she would shut the fuck up.

Chuck Norris has to wear a helmet to every meal, not because he is special, but because Christie Brinkley loses her temper when the airplane is not
allowed to land.

Chuck Norris has been quoted as hitting on girls using the line, "How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if the wood chuck got with YOU!"

Chuck Norris was born Chuck Stevens but took his wife's name when they were married.

The morning after sex with his girlfriend, Chuck Norris likes to greet her with breakfast in bed.

Chuck Norris once had sex with a man, not because he was gay, but because he had run out of women. When he let the man come in his mouth, that was
because he was gay.

Chuck Norris’ wife was heard howling with laughter throughout the hotel on their honeymoon.

Chuck Norris uses 5 tampons a day. The heavy-duty kind.