College Quotes
Jess: I could really go for McDick's right now..
Red Dave: You know McDonald's is like an ex-girlfriend... You only think of her late at night when you're drunk; you know it's a bad idea and you'll regret it in the morning; your friends all try to talk you out of it, but you go ahead and do it anyway.... Who are you texting?
Toni: My ex... what?!? She's my kind of Happy Meal!!
-On why cellphones should come with breathalyzers
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About Primal Urges 
A showcase of one male's pathetic attempts to fight his basic instincts and grow up, despite the fact that the very idea makes him sick.
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Monthly Archive: 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005
Recent Posts:
A showcase of one male's pathetic attempts to fight his basic instincts and grow up, despite the fact that the very idea makes him sick.
Subscribe to Nathan's column RSS feed
Monthly Archive: 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005
Recent Posts:
- Celebrity Death Summer: The Menu
- Girls are Like Food, Part 2: The Main Course
- Friendships: A Lesson for Females
- You're Not Free
- How to Eliminate Steroid Use in Major League Baseball
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Quick Jokes
Monthly archives
July 2009
Celebrity Death Summer: The MenuJune 2009
Girls are Like Food, Part 2: The Main CourseFriendships: A Lesson for Females
May 2009
You're Not FreeHow to Eliminate Steroid Use in Major League Baseball
April 2009
I Love You (Now Shut Up)March 2009
How to Avoid the Friend Zone AltogetherFiring Back at Anti-Gun Laws
Pickled, But Not Soured
December 2008
Every Bowl Game Known to Man and the Women Who Love ThemJuly 2008
Girls are Like Food, Part 1: AppetizersMaking Sense of Fucking Stupid Sluts
Independence Day Activities for Dat Ass
June 2008
George Carlin's Lessons in BullshitThanks Dad
Introduction to Cunnilingus
Your Obligatory "Rejected Column Ideas" Column
May 2008
Crime is a Motor SkillHow to Be a Drug Dealer
The Four Levels of Slut
A Man's Guide to Being a Dick
The Melters: Objects of Ejaculation
Unscrewing Up America
Think of the Flapjacks, People
How to Completely Emasculate a Man
Buzz Cut
You Make Us All Sorry
