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About Primal Urges
A showcase of one male's pathetic attempts to fight his basic instincts and grow up, despite the fact that the very idea makes him sick.
Recent Posts:
A showcase of one male's pathetic attempts to fight his basic instincts and grow up, despite the fact that the very idea makes him sick.
Recent Posts:
- Close That Container and Pull Up Your Pants
- Thanks to the Boomers
- Triumph of the Millienials
- Lying Sack of Pimp
- Congratulations, You're Not Responsible for Your Mortgage!
Recent Comments
| Author | Comment | Article |
|---|---|---|
| Anonymous | utah is predominantly full | How to Be a Drug Dealer |
| Anonymous | Fuk Norputas...V.Sureños13 | How to Rob a House |
| Anonymous | Well if you class Scotsman | Why America is Better than England |
| Anonymous | they have females? | Why America is Better than England |
| Proud Yank | I think some Scottish girl | Why America is Better than England |
| Anonymous | "The Scots are known all | Why America is Better than England |
more
Monthly archives
May 2011
Close That Container and Pull Up Your PantsApril 2011
Thanks to the BoomersMarch 2011
Triumph of the MillienialsLying Sack of Pimp
February 2011
Congratulations, You're Not Responsible for Your Mortgage!Journalism is All Warshed Up
You're Welcome, Egypt
January 2011
Grizzly Murder: Sarah Palin Killed My DogDecember 2010
Systemic Pile of RiskChristmas Awesome List
WikiDick and the Trouble with Old Media Journalists
November 2010
So You're Dating a MILFThe Federal Reserve Hates You
Slut Lines: 6 Things Sluts Say When They Want to Have Sex
Currency War: The Yuan is Mightier than the Sword
October 2010
Whores, Pimps and Dollar BillsForeclosing on My Sanity
September 2010
Top 10 Things the Heisman Trophy Trust Should Do with Reggie Bush's HeismanOliver Blitzed
March 2010
Girls are Like Food, Part 3: DessertsFebruary 2010
Your Guide to Writing Internet HumorThe Dick Who Stole Valentine's Day
How to Be a Good Boyfriend
January 2010
It's Twenty Ten, PeopleJuly 2009
Celebrity Death Summer: The MenuJune 2009
Girls are Like Food, Part 2: The Main CourseFriendships: A Lesson for Females
May 2009
You're Not FreeHow to Eliminate Steroid Use in Major League Baseball
April 2009
I Love You (Now Shut Up)March 2009
How to Avoid the Friend Zone AltogetherFiring Back at Anti-Gun Laws
Pickled, But Not Soured
December 2008
Every Bowl Game Known to Man and the Women Who Love ThemJuly 2008
Girls are Like Food, Part 1: AppetizersMaking Sense of Fucking Stupid Sluts
Independence Day Activities for Dat Ass
June 2008
George Carlin's Lessons in BullshitThanks Dad
Introduction to Cunnilingus
Your Obligatory "Rejected Column Ideas" Column
May 2008
The Day I Burnt My House DownA Tale of the Ages
Cheaters Never Win
Don't Think of Them as Lies (Just Protections from the Truth)
Weekend at Curty's
Ah, The Strip Clubs: Part 5 - The End-All Love Story
Primal Urges
USF: Up and Coming for Your Ass
How's Your Day Going?
Friends with Bullshit Benefits
I Should Have Been a Marriage Counselor
How to Treat Your Women
The True Friend with Benefits
The Middle Class Circle of Life
Confession of a Dildo Faggins
Turnabout's Fair Play (The Nate Rating Revenge)
Ah, The Strip Clubs: Part 3 - Staging the Strippers
Ah, The Strip Clubs: Part 4 - My Two Stripper Girlfriends
20 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married
Texting Her Limits
Shaving the Pubic Hair Stereotypes
Ah, The Strip Clubs: Part 2 - Classing the Strip Clubs
Ah, The Strip Clubs: Part 1
You Deserve a Beater Bitch
Putting the Fun in NFL
Clinging to the Dream Lover
Nobody Likes a Dead Dog
What the Hell, Chica?
Crime is a Motor Skill
A Stripper's Favorite Sci-Fi Scenes
How to Be a Sophisticated Drunk
I Need Your Help
Begging the Female Questions
Legalize It (No, Pothead, The Other It)
The Five Best Blowjobs Ever
The Nate Way
Thanks for Serving, I Owe You a Beer
Cumming to the Truth
Black Rules for White Men
Four Ways to Avoid Getting Played
How to Be a Drug Dealer
The Evolution of the Whore
Alcohol is a Crutch, Not a Problem
Learning from Doug
Open Your Damn Mind
Fair is Where You Get Cotton Candy
Sexing the Sister
Preparing for Moral Crisis
The Four Levels of Slut
Clinging to the Pot Luck
License to Kill
The Power of Three Lovers
The Road to Becoming a Good Person
My Internet Year
A Man's Guide to Being a Dick
Pat Tillman: Better Man Than I
Congraduations, Class of 2007
Punch These Guys in the Mouth
Earning a Dick's Respect
A Rock and a Fake Place
The Internet is Weird
Striking Little Kids Out for Cash
The Least Refreshing Cool Breeze Ever
The Guest Preacher
My Ideal Woman
How to Talk to Drunks
Keep Your Chin Up
No Surprises Here
Life is Harder for Men
Stop Fucking with My Money
Women Who Hate Women
The Castrating Bitch and the Whipped Puss
I Think I Know What I'm Doing
A New Age of Consent
An Open Letter to Future PIC Columnists
Critique This
Three Ducking Quackholes
The Graveyard
How to Have a Good Time
How to Keep Your Girl Happy
The Sports Lull and the Good Ride
The Melters: Objects of Ejaculation
Multitasking the Blowjobs
Good Times at Langerado
Fine Tuning the Little Things And Learning a Word or Two
Ten Things to Believe In
The Shortest Job I Ever Had
Fat Cop Will Not Give Up the Crullers
Social Experiments, The Nate Way
The Meanings of Life
How to Write Good
Get Polite, Bitches
You Ma'am, Are a Bitch
Educating Ricky
Solving the World's Problems for Free
Five Jobs Men Shouldn't Hold
Don't Be a Douche on Christmas
God Bless the War in Iraq
Happy Super Bowl
You Sir, Are a Douche
My 5 Favorite Things About Christmas
DeGraaf's 2005 Columns in Review
Season's Greetings from the DeGraaf Apartment
The Six Girls You Meet in a Relationship
Advice to the Homeless
It's Not Like I Killed Your Daughter
How to Get Away With Murder
The Origin of Primal Urges
I Piss People Off, Get Over It
Grateful for a Dead Fable
Seven Steps to One Night Stands
Girls Kissing Girls, For God and Country
Whatever's Clever
Four Dudes Talking in the Woods
I'm Sorry I Fucked Your Wife
Your Christmas Wish List
Happy Thanksgiving
Thanks Be to Girls
Clinging to the Day I Met Jesus
To-Do List for the Women of America
Thanksgiving Thankfulness
Welcome to the Neighborhood
An Open Letter to the Snoring Girl
Healthy Kicks Suck
Clinging to the Party Balloons
You're Addicted to Drugs
The Old Record Store Scam
The Shizmessedup Religion
Why Men Love Sports
Hey Women: Be Good
Five Suckass Foods
The Rules of Banging the Ex
The Gentleman and the Goat Lover
I Know What Love Is
Oh the Places You Will Sweat
All Men are Scumbags
Trying the Girlfriend Thing Again
The Gentleman and the Pot Lover
Invent THIS, America
How to Throw a Good Super Bowl Party
Rocco's Afterlife Dream
Long-Term Relationship Benefits
An Open Letter to America
Hopeful in 2008
I'm Going to Canada
A Call for the Typical Male
Nate Has a Dream, Too
Top 4 Reasons I'd Rush a Shit
Girlfriends with Perks
Good Intentions Ain't All That Helpful
Unscrewing Up America
Think of the Flapjacks, People
How to Completely Emasculate a Man
Buzz Cut
You Make Us All Sorry
