It doesn't matter how well you can brawl, sometimes you can just look at a person and tell, yeah, that person would kick the shit out of me. I think about stuff like this all the time. It's not that I am sizing up people, it's just sober me has to plan out who drunk me can and cannot fight. Read More »

I have made the decision not to shave my junk anymore unless in a relationship. The main reason behind this is I think it's hilarious when I pull my pants down during a one night stand and my fur burger leaps out at them like a caged tiger at the zoo. The girls facial expression is usually priceless. Also, none of these girls have ever just gotten up and walked out. Read More »

I'm still not sure how it happened, but a fight broke out in front of my friends house on Halloween. Well I mean I know how the first fight started. The first fight started when a kid who got kicked out of the party came back and hit one of my friends who lived there. He promptly got his ass beat and was escorted outside, where he talked more shit and was knocked out again. Read More »

Now I know last year the University of Cincinnati Bearcats beat the Southern Florida DeGraafs and embarrassed you on your own home field, but this year it will be different. I'll admit there is no way my team is going to come anywhere close to beating the DeGraffs this year. Read More »

So while taking a dump in the library bathroom at the University of Cincinnati, I took the time to read everything written on the wall. Most of it is just people calling each other fags in a conversation that goes "You're a fag, no, you a fag, fag," and so on for half a stall door. The only message that really peaked my interest was one that said : Read More »

     I have reached a point where I have to write myself notes on my arms before I start drinking during the night. On Saturday, I woke up with a note that I had written that said: Read More »

     Seriously. I know this is a little late in all, but I still think about it on a daily basis. I was a swimmer for a good chunk of my life and still swim to stay in shape. But every four years I have to listen to people preach to me like they know something about swimming. News flash, you don't know shit about swimming from watching a 1 minute race, or listening to announcers. Read More »

Dad: You sure you're not working too much?
Me: I only worked 40 hours and went to 18 hours worth of class.
Dad: That's not too much?
Me: Just living the American Dream I guess. Read More »

So when there is nothing to do in the fine suburbs of Cincinnati, we play dice in the alleys behind my friends house. My friend was blessed and born into a rich family, unlike the rest of us who were born into middle class. So the alley of choice was between his house and his neighbors, which was more of an alley than a driveway. So that's what we do. Read More »

This is an open letter to Court Sullivan. The other day I logged on to the website, and up at the top I noticed a little flashing banner that informed me that I was in fact, the 1,000,000 visitor to the website. It told me if I clicked, I would win a prize. But seeing how I know Court on a professional level, I figured I would just write this letter to him. So Court, I need to know... Read More »

I hate you, which creates terrible conflict in my life, because I love smoking pot. My favorite thing about smoking pot is the conversations that follow. Read More »