Let Me Be Honest With You

Gang, we've had a lot of fun here a lot of times. I know I seem like this squeaky clean celebrity personality, which I am. For the most part.

But I have a confession to make. Now, please don't blow this out of proportion or anything. It's serious, but not that serious.

Okay, I know this will jeopardize my career in many different ways, but I can't live this lie any longer.

Here goes. Phew. This is going to be tough.

Sometimes when I go out during the day, at night, or really whenever, I'm going out so I can meet female human beings, get them naked and have some sort of sexual relations with them. I can't help it. I think about this stuff constantly.

I'm - I don't know how to put this into words but I'll try - I'm really really attracted to women. Like, I see a hot girl on the street and I think, I bet she's really interesting. And likes to fuck. Or I'll be in the store, shopping for things, and I wonder, "Will this Superman t-shirt get me laid?" Even when I'm sitting around on my computer, I fantasize about some big-boobied naked girl coming in and letting me play with her big boobies. Maybe cum in her hair. Or the face. Or her boobies. Hell, I could eventually do all three. I've got a lot of bullets in my chamber. Then she could cook me breakfast. Naked.

Wow that feels good to get off my chest. I feel so free.

I'm sorry if you think I'm a dirty pervert now. I needed to come clean with you.

I hate to say this, but anybody want to go out for coffee later? Maybe bang afterwards?